Category: Self care Page 1 of 2

Feeling the Pressure of a New Year?

By

On January 13, 2026

In Anxiety, Self care, Stress

A Calm, Practical Guide to Managing Stress & Anxiety in Wadebridge, Cornwall

By Kieran

Keywords: Wadebridge counsellor, Cornwall counselling, stress, anxiety, counselling for men, online counselling, private therapy, stress and anxiety support, counsellor in Wadebridge, counselling in Cornwall

The New Year has a habit of arriving with equal parts hope and heaviness. All across Wadebridge and Cornwall, people tell me they feel they “should” be starting fresh, feeling motivated, or finally getting life sorted. But instead, there’s a familiar mix of overwhelm, tension, and anxiety. As a Wadebridge counsellor offering stress and anxiety counselling in Wadebridge, I hear the same themes every January: racing thoughts, tight chests, irritability, exhaustion, and a sense of being stretched far too thin.

If you’re heading into the New Year feeling stressed or anxious, you’re not alone. This guide walks you through what stress and anxiety counselling looks like in my Wadebridge counselling practice and through online counselling across Cornwall. No pressure. No judgement. Just clear, grounded support.

A Warm Welcome and What to Expect in Counselling

Whether you come to see me for counselling in Wadebridge or join via online counselling, you’ll be met with a calm, friendly hello. You don’t need to have the right words. You don’t need to explain everything perfectly. You set the pace.

In your first stress and anxiety counselling session, I’ll outline what we’ll cover:

  • a brief check on your wellbeing
  • what’s been weighing on you
  • how stress or anxiety shows up in your body
  • what you want life to feel like instead
  • a few practical tools you can start using today

If you’re joining through online counselling, we’ll check privacy, sound, and comfort. Many people in Cornwall prefer online sessions because they can talk openly from home, work, or even their car during a lunch break.

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

Martin Luther King Jr.

Confidentiality, Always

Everything you share in counselling stays confidential. I’ll explain the rare legal limits around safety in plain English, but otherwise this is your space — not your employer’s, not your partner’s, not your insurer’s. Whether you’re coming for private therapy in Cornwall or online counselling, your privacy is respected.

You’re not judged. You’re not labelled. You’re heard.

Stress & Anxiety Are Signals, Not Failures

Many people seeking counselling in Cornwall believe stress or anxiety means they’re weak or failing. But stress and anxiety are signals — signs that something in your life needs attention.

In my work as a Wadebridge counsellor, I often see stress and anxiety linked to:

pressure at work

fear of letting people down

old coping patterns

exhaustion

feeling responsible for everyone else

uncertainty about the future

unresolved grief

loneliness or isolation

burnout from trying to hold everything together

When we treat anxiety as a signal — not a flaw — you can start to understand what it’s trying to tell you. Maybe you’re overloaded. Maybe you’re stretched too thin. Maybe you’ve been running on empty for too long. Stress and anxiety counselling helps you make sense of this.

Carrying more stress than you let on?

Men often push through stress alone, hoping it’ll ease on its own. But pressure builds. Talking it through with someone who gets it can make a real difference.

Talk to Someone Who Gets It

A Brief Assessment to Understand Your Stress & Anxiety

☐ what triggers your stress
☐ how anxiety shows up in your body
☐ the thoughts that spiral
☐ what you do to cope
☐ what happens afterwards
☐ what already helps, even a little
Most people seeking stress and anxiety support in Cornwall have more strengths than they realise. We build on those.

Why the New Year Triggers Stress & Anxiety

January brings a unique kind of pressure. As a counsellor in Wadebridge, I see the same patterns every year.

1. The pressure to “start fresh”
New Year’s resolutions can feel like demands rather than choices. You “should” be healthier, calmer, more productive. That pressure alone can create anxiety.

2. The comparison trap
Everyone online seems to be thriving. New routines. New goals. New achievements. It’s easy to feel behind.

3. The financial squeeze
After Christmas, many people in Cornwall feel the strain — especially with rising costs and family commitments.

4. The return to work
The shift from holiday mode to work mode can feel abrupt. The inbox, the deadlines, the expectations — it all hits at once.

5. The emotional hangover
The festive period can bring up loneliness, family tension, or grief. January often exposes what we’ve been avoiding.

This is where counselling in Wadebridge or online counselling can help you steady yourself.

How Long Are Counselling Sessions?

Standard counselling sessions are 50 minutes. If you book a single session or an urgent clarity session, we’ll use the full time to focus on what’s most pressing right now. Weekly counselling in Wadebridge or online helps you build steadiness week by week.

Consistency matters — especially when you’re trying to break old stress patterns.

Practical Tools You Can Use Today

You won’t leave with theory. You’ll leave with tools shaped around your life in Cornwall.

Grounding techniques
To calm your nervous system when anxiety spikes.
Breathing exercises
Box breathing, slow exhales, and paced breathing — discreet and effective.
Thought‑slowing strategies
To interrupt spirals before they take over.
Values‑led reflection
Instead of trying to “fix” your thoughts, we explore what matters to you.
Small, realistic steps
To reduce overwhelm without adding more pressure.

These tools are simple, discreet, and designed for real life — whether you’re at work, at home, or out walking along the Camel Trail trying to clear your head.

Click to explore stress and anxiety counselling

Common Stress & Anxiety Exercises in Counselling

In stress and anxiety counselling, we might explore:

urge surfing

the 5‑4‑3‑2‑1 grounding method

scheduling “pressure breaks”

journalling prompts

assertive communication

a traffic‑light plan for overwhelm

body‑based resets

reframing techniques

micro‑habits for daily calm

These are offered, not imposed. You choose what feels useful.

If you prefer to work from home, these tools fit easily into online counselling in Cornwall.

What Type of Counselling Works Best for Stress & Anxiety?

There’s no single “right” approach. Many people benefit from a person‑centred style — where the focus is on understanding your emotional landscape, not correcting your behaviour.

As a Wadebridge counsellor, I blend person‑centred counselling with practical tools, always tailored to your life here in Cornwall — not a manual.

“The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you.”

B.B. King

If you prefer straightforward, grounded support, you can explore counselling for men or general Cornwall counselling services.

Your Options — Same Care Either Way

Weekly counselling in Wadebridge
Build insight and steadiness over time.
→ Learn more about counselling in Wadebridge

Online counselling across Cornwall
Flexible, confidential support from home or work.
→ Explore online counselling

Single session therapy
One focused session to map your situation and leave with a plan.
→ Single session therapy

Urgent clarity session
When stress peaks and you need calm today.

Feeling the pressure building beneath the surface?

Many men keep going, hoping the stress will settle on its own. But strain has a way of catching up. Opening up to someone who understands can take the weight off your shoulders.

Start a Conversation That Helps

Who Is This Counselling For?

Men and adults who want to feel calmer without shutting down

People who prefer straight‑talking support with warmth

Anyone feeling overwhelmed, tense, or stuck in their head

Cornwall locals wanting face‑to‑face counselling in Wadebridge

Those who need flexible online counselling

People who want practical tools, not lectures.

How We Get Started

Book your first appointment — in Wadebridge or online

Arrive a few minutes early or log in from a private space

We set goals, agree safety steps, and begin tools you can use straight away

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Wayne Gretzky

A Calm Next Step

Stress and anxiety don’t mean you’re weak. They mean you’ve been carrying too much, often for too long. With the right support, you can learn to steady your body, quiet your mind, and move into the New Year with clarity instead of pressure.

If you’re ready for a gentle, practical start, you can meet me for counselling in Wadebridge or through online counselling across Cornwall. No pressure — just clear, grounded support.

Ready to take the next step?

If stress, pressure, or overwhelm are starting to build, you don’t have to handle it alone. A conversation could be the turning point.

Get in Touch

What Happens In An Anger Management Session? A Gentle Walkthrough For Men In Cornwall

By

On November 18, 2025

In Anger management, Self care

Keywords: online counselling, online therapy, counselling for men, private therapy, anger management sessions, urgent clarity session

If you’re worried you have a short fuse, you’re not alone. Many men in Cornwall come to me after an argument at home with a partner, feeling fed up with work, or a sense that anger is starting to take over their life. You want your voice back without the sense of frustration. You want calm that doesn’t feel like bottling it up. Here’s a clear, pressure-free walkthrough of what happens in an anger management session in my Camborne practice or online via Zoom or WhatsApp.

A Warm Welcome and What to Expect

You’ll be met with a calm, friendly hello. We’ll sit down, settle in, and take a few minutes for you to settle in and begin to make a start on what’s been troubling you and causing your anger. You set the pace. No jargon. No judgment.

I’ll outline the shape of the first session so you know where we’re going: a brief check on safety and wellbeing, what you want from counselling, a simple exploration of triggers and patterns, then if appropriate, some practical tools you can start using right away. If you’re joining online, we take a moment to check privacy, sound, and that you’ve got a cup of tea or water to hand.

Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.

Abraham Lincoln

Confidentiality, always

Everything you share is confidential and handled with care. There are rare legal limits around serious risk to you or others and safeguarding—I’ll explain those in plain English. Otherwise, this is your space to talk openly without being judged or labelled. If work or your insurer such as Bupa or AXA are paying for your counselling sessions then nothing we talk about will go back to them. The same applies if your mum, your wife or someone else reaches out to arrange an initial counselling session; everything we discuss will stay confidential. I’d encourage communication with partners and to tell them how you’re finding the counselling sessions but that is entirely down to you.

Anger is a Signal, Not a Character Flaw

Anger often sits on top of other feelings: hurt after an argument, fear about losing control, grief that has nowhere to go. When we treat anger as a signal—not a defect—you can learn to hear what it’s telling you and choose a response that fits your values.

So, what emotion is behind anger? Often it’s hurt, fear, shame, frustration, or grief. Sometimes it’s stress overload. Naming what sits underneath is the first step toward steadying yourself. For example, if you notice you feel angry when you’re partner doesn’t listen to you, it would be worth asking yourself why it makes you feel angry. Is it because you feel unheard? As though people don’t care what you say? If that’s the case then it could be worth thinking about how you communicate with your partner and try to make some changes. Therapy can help with how you communicate.

a-man-calmly-sitting-at-the-beach-anger-management-counselling
Taking sometime to ground yourself is an effective anger management technique.

A Brief Assessment

In the first appointment, we map your triggers, early warning signs, and the moments when things escalate. I’ll ask about:

  • What sets it off—people, places, situations
  • How it shows up in your body—heat, tight chest, clenched jaw
  • What you do next—raise voice, withdraw, slam doors
  • What happens after—guilt, fallout at home or work

We also capture what already helps. You may have more skills than you think. Most people do.

How Long is a Session of Anger Management?

Standard sessions are 50 minutes. If you book a single session or an urgent clarity session, we’ll use the full 50 minutes to target your most pressing concern. Structured weekly therapy follows the same rhythm so you can build habits steadily. Regular weekly sessions are important as consistency is a powerful factor when developing positive, new habits.

Safety Planning that Respects your Life

Clearly, someone who reaches out for counselling because they feel they struggle with anger management, may want to focus on the anger outbursts that perhaps led them to reach out for the support of a counsellor in the first place. If you’re worried you might snap, we can set up a short, clear plan: signs I’m overheating, what I’ll do next, who I can text or call, where I can step away to reset. We keep it practical and realistic for your home, work, or commute. Partners can be involved too but only if you want that.

You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.

Henry Ford

Practical Tools you can use Today

You’ll leave the first session with tools, not theory. These are not generic worksheets—they emerge from our conversation, shaped by your words and values.

  • The 3 R’s: recognise, reflect, respond. Notice your early signs, reflect gently on what the moment meant to you, and respond with a value-led action—whether that’s a pause, a boundary, or a calm statement.
  • Breathing and nervous system resets. Box breathing (4-4-4-4), slow exhales (4 in, 6 out), and grounding with five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste. These are discreet and work in real life.
  • Values-led reflection. Instead of trying to “fix” your thoughts, we explore what matters to you. What kind of man do you want to be in that moment? What does calm look like when it’s not bottling things up?
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” — Albert Einstein

What are Common Anger Management Exercises?

In addition to the anger management techniques above, we might use urge surfing, scheduling time outs, a traffic light plan (green, amber, red), and short writing prompts to catch triggers and wins. We also practice assertive “I” statements so you can be clear without being confrontational. These tools are offered, not imposed—shaped by what feels useful to you. I’ll always be on hand too if you aren’t sure or just forget part of it. Just give me a call or send me a message and I’ll go through the anger management technique with you again.

What is the Most Effective Therapy for Anger Management?

There’s no single answer, and that’s the point. Many men benefit from a person-centred approach where the focus is not on correcting behaviour but understanding the emotional landscape beneath it. In our sessions, you are not a problem to be solved—you are a person to be heard. I offer private therapy that blends person-centred listening with practical steps, always tailored to your life, not a manual. 90% of what’s effective is finding the right therapist that you feel can help you. As an experienced anger management counsellor, I have helped hundreds of men work on their anger issues and feel happier and less tense because of it.

Do you need help with anger?

I can help

Your Options, Same Care Either Way

  • Structured weekly therapy. Build insight and emotional steadiness week by week. Ideal if anger has roots in stress, grief, or long-standing patterns.
  • Single session therapy. One focused session to map your situation and leave with a plan you can use at once. You can always book in for weekly sessions after if you want to.
  • Urgent clarity session. When you need fast, steady support after a flashpoint, we create a calm plan today.

You can learn more about one-off work and book an urgent clarity session if that suits you.

Who would this Anger Management Counselling be for?

Men and adults who want to feel in control without going numb

People who want straight-talking support with warmth and respect

Those who prefer practical tools, not lectures

Cornwall locals wanting face-to-face in Camborne or flexible online support

How We get Started in Camborne or Online

  • Book a first appointment—you choose in person here in Camborne, Cornwall or online via Zoom
  • Arrive a few minutes early or log in from a private space
  • We set goals, agree safety steps, and start tools you can use straight away

If you’re ready to start, you can explore anger management sessions and choose the option that fits. If you prefer to keep it online, I offer secure, confidential online therapy that works around your schedule.

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. –Michael Jordan

A Calm Next Step

Anger doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s a signal asking for attention. With the right support, you can learn to recognise the build-up, steady your body, and choose responses that protect what matters most to you.

If you want a gentle, practical start, book in Camborne, Cornwall or meet me on Zoom. No pressure—just clear support tailored to you.

Need help with anger?

If you would like to talk to someone confidentially about managing anger, then I can help.

Help is here

The Ultimate Guide to Surviving University: Mental Health, Motivation & Meaning

By

On September 14, 2025

In Anxiety, Confidence, Self care, Stress

By Kieran In Student wellbeing, Stress, Motivation, Identity, Self care

University can be one of the most transformative chapters in a person’s life—but it can also be one of the most overwhelming and the prospect of surviving university can feel tough. Around one in six UK undergraduates report mental health challenges Whether you’re just out of college and going to Freshers week, returning as a mature student, or navigating university alongside work and family, the pressure to “get it right” can feel relentless and this post is to help with surviving university. I clearly remember both feelings of anxiety and excitement at the thought of being more independent and moving on from my life in a big town like Cheltenham and leaving sleepy Cornwall behind.

“You’ll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart

George Michael

Deadlines. Debt. Homesickness. Social anxiety. Identity questions. The weight of expectation—both internal and external—can build quietly until it starts to affect your sleep, your relationships, and your sense of self. I certainly felt a lot of pressure to hit the ground running when I arrived in my student digs; pressure to make a good impression with flatmates and fellow students. I remember finding simple things such as where should I do my shopping and how will I make sure I eat healthily enough to not get some awful disease quite overwhelming.

This guide is for the student who’s feeling lost in the noise (like I was). The one who’s questioning whether they belong. The one who’s trying to juggle everything and wondering if it’s all too much.

Let’s explore some practical, compassionate strategies to help you not just survive university—but grow through it.

Don’t forget to download my free Surviving University Toolkit at the end of this post!

a-young-man-studying

Why University Feels So Intense and how to survive

University isn’t just about lectures and essays—it’s a full-body experience. You’re often:

  • Living away from home for the first time
  • Managing finances, food, and friendships
  • Navigating new identities and beliefs
  • Facing academic pressure and performance anxiety
  • Meeting lots of new people
  • Adapting to a town or city you might not know very well

It’s a lot. And yet, many students feel they have to “just get on with it.” That asking for help is weakness. That struggling means they’re failing.

Let me say this clearly: it doesn’t. Treat getting support from your tutor, lecturer or even a counsellor like me as important as attending lectures, handing in assignments on time and sitting exams.

Struggle is part of growth. And support is part of success.

Technique 1: The “Micro-Moment” Method

When everything feels overwhelming, zoom in.

Instead of trying to fix your whole life, focus on one small moment:

  • Make your bed
  • Drink a glass of water
  • Step outside for 2 minutes
  • Text a friend “thinking of you”

These micro-moments help regulate your nervous system and build momentum. They’re not trivial—they’re foundational.

 “If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.”

Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Technique 2: The “Permission Slip” Practice

Write yourself a permission slip. Literally.

“I give myself permission to rest.” “I give myself permission to not know everything.” “I give myself permission to feel sad today.”

This simple act can reduce shame and increase self-compassion. It’s a tool I often use in therapy sessions with students who feel trapped by perfectionism.

Technique 3: The “Belonging Inventory”

University can trigger deep questions about identity and belonging. Try this journaling prompt:

  • Where do I feel most like myself?
  • Who makes me feel safe?
  • What spaces energise me?
  • What beliefs no longer fit?

This inventory helps you reconnect with your values and find your people. Belonging isn’t about fitting in—it’s about feeling seen.

Anxious about surviving university?

Schedule a call

Contact me here

Technique 4: The “Stress Spiral Interrupt”

When your thoughts start spiraling—“I’m behind, I’ll fail, I’m not good enough”—use this 3-step tool:

  1. Name it: “I’m catastrophising.”
  2. Ground it: “What’s the actual problem right now?”
  3. Shift it: “What’s one thing I can do today?”

This technique helps you move from panic to presence. It’s not about ignoring stress—it’s about interrupting its momentum.

Technique 5: The “Connection Ritual”

Loneliness is one of the most common struggles at university. Create a weekly ritual that fosters connection:

  • A walk with a flatmate
  • A call to someone back home
  • A shared meal with coursemates
  • A club or society meetup

You don’t have to be extroverted. You just have to be intentional.

I remember feeling isolated myself at times when I was at university, so I can speak from first hand experience as well as being an experienced counsellor who has worked with many students feeling the same way when I say it is important to remain connected and feel part of something.

a-young-female-student-in-a-red-top-is-thinking

When It’s More Than Just Stress

Sometimes the pressure of university reveals deeper challenges—anxiety, depression, trauma, identity confusion. That’s okay. That’s human. Afterall, just because we’ve left friends, family and familiarity behind, it doesn’t mean problems we had before we enrolled are left behind too.

Counselling offers a safe, confidential space to explore these layers. Whether you’re dealing with academic burnout, relationship strain, or emotional overwhelm, support is available.

As a counsellor, I work with students across Cornwall and online to help them find clarity, confidence, and calm. You don’t have to wait until crisis hits. You’re allowed to ask for help now.

“Not all those who wander are lost.”

J.R.R. Tolkein

Final Thoughts on surviving university: You’re Allowed to Thrive

University isn’t just about grades—it’s about growth. And growth is messy, nonlinear, and deeply personal. Surviving university doesn’t have to a slog.

Whether you try the micro-moment method, write yourself a permission slip, or reach out for counselling, know this:

You’re not alone. You’re not failing. You’re becoming.

And that’s something worth celebrating.

Take it from me, someone who spent 4 years wondering if they were making the right decisions, on the right degree course and whether they were building the right future that taking control of life at university is paramount. If you feel as though you need some support from a professional counsellor like me, then contact me here.

Want more support?

📘 Download the Student Survival Toolkit (Free PDF)

A gentle, practical guide to help you manage stress, find belonging, and thrive at university.

Need help with anger?

If you would like to talk to someone confidentially about managing anger, then I can help.

Help is here
Woman practicing meditationmental health therapy in Cornwall

Stress & Anger Relief: Simple Techniques in Cornwall

By

On July 30, 2025

In Anger management, Anxiety, Confidence, Self care, Stress

Stress and anger are two of the most common emotional challenges men, women, teenagers will face—and yet, they’re often the least talked about. Whether it’s the pressure of work, relationship strain, exam worries or just the weight of daily responsibilities, these emotions can build quietly until they erupt, indeed when they do, they don’t just affect your mood—they impact your health, your relationships, and your sense of self. I know, I’ve been there. It shapes who you are. You become the moody person and if you feel it, others will too.

As someone who offers mental health services for men in Cornwall, across online platforms and to women and young people too, I’ve seen how powerful it can be when people begin to explore their stress and anger—not as flaws, but as signals. Signals that something needs attention. Signals that change is possible. Change that I can help elicit.

Focused workspace with laptop and journal – promoting mindfulness and breathing techniques for stress relief

This blog is for the man, woman or child who’s been holding it all in. The one who’s tired of snapping, tired of feeling overwhelmed, and ready to find a calmer way forward. I’ll share a few practical techniques you can start using today, including one you’ll find in my very first video: Instant Anxiety Relief in Under 30 Seconds With One Simple Trick. And if you’re ready to go deeper, therapy in Cornwall might be the next step.

Why Stress and Anger Feel So Hard to Manage

Let’s start with the basics. Stress and anger aren’t just emotions—they’re physiological responses. When something feels threatening (even if it’s just a tight deadline or a difficult conversation), your body kicks into gear. Heart rate increases. Muscles tense. Breathing becomes shallow. You’re ready to fight, flee, or freeze.

Historically, this response is ancient—it helped our ancestors survive real danger. Think how a cat reacts when it sees a dog if that helps. Yet today, this same reaction is often triggered by things we can’t punch or run from—emails, bills, university worries, what friends think of us, unresolved arguments, or internal pressure to “keep it together.”

In addition, while anger isn’t only expressed by men—far from it—it often becomes the only emotion that feels safe to show. I’m sure many women reading this blog have a son or a partner who only seems to communicate this way. Sadness, fear, vulnerability? Those get buried. But anger? That’s allowed. That’s familiar.

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.” 

Benjamin Franklin

The problem is, when anger becomes your default, it starts to erode everything around you. Relationships suffer. Work becomes tense. Maladaptive coping mechanism like smoking or porn use can seem like the only way out. And your own mental health begins to fray.

That’s where anger management counselling in Cornwall comes in. It’s not about suppressing anger—it’s about understanding it. It’s about learning to respond, not react.

Technique 1: Box Breathing (Featured in My Video)

Let’s start with something simple. Something you can do anywhere, anytime.

Box breathing is a technique used by athletes, military personnel, and therapists alike. It’s designed to calm your nervous system and bring you back to centre.

Here’s how it works:

  1. Inhale for 4 seconds
  2. Hold your breath for 4 seconds
  3. Exhale for 4 seconds
  4. Hold again for 4 seconds
  5. Repeat for 4–5 cycles

This technique activates your parasympathetic nervous system—the part of your body responsible for rest and recovery. It’s like hitting the reset button on your stress response.

I walk you through this in my video: 🎥 Instant Anxiety Relief in Under 30 Seconds With One Simple Trick

This is a great tool for moments when you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or on the edge of an outburst. It’s discreet, effective, and backed by science.

Technique 2: The “Name It to Tame It” Method

This one comes from neuroscience and therapy. When you name what you’re feeling—literally say it out loud or write it down—you reduce its intensity.

In essence, naming an emotion activates the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for reasoning and regulation. It helps shift you out of survival mode and into reflection.

Try this:

  • “I’m feeling frustrated because I don’t feel heard.”
  • “I’m anxious because I’m worried I’ll mess this up.”
  • “I’m angry because I feel disrespected.”

You don’t have to fix it right away. Just name it. That alone can reduce the emotional charge.

This technique is especially useful in relationships. Instead of snapping or shutting down, you can say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. I need a minute.” That’s emotional intelligence in action.

Technique 3: Progressive Muscle Relaxation

As I’ve mentioned in at least one of my previous blog posts, this technique continues to resonate with many people who come to me for counselling. That’s because it provides a real sense of actively “doing something” with your whole body—and that kind of physical engagement can genuinely lift your mood.

Building on that, you’ll often find that stress lives in the body: tight shoulders, clenched jaw, fidgeting hands. Progressive muscle relaxation helps you release that tension—one muscle group at a time.

Here’s a quick version:

  1. Sit or lie down comfortably
  2. Starting at your feet, tense the muscles for 5 seconds
  3. Release and notice the difference
  4. Move up to your calves, thighs, stomach, chest, arms, and face
  5. Breathe slowly throughout

This technique is great before bed, after a stressful meeting, or when you feel physically wound up. It’s also something I use in Cornwall therapy sessions to help clients reconnect with their bodies.

Technique 4: The “Stop–Drop–Reflect” Method

This is a cognitive tool I use often in anger management Cornwall sessions. It’s designed to interrupt reactive patterns and create space for choice. It’s really simple.

Here’s how it works:

  • Stop: When you feel anger rising, pause. Don’t speak. Don’t act. Just stop.
  • Drop: Drop into your body. Notice your breath, your posture, your tension.
  • Reflect: Ask yourself, “What am I really feeling? What do I need right now?”

This method helps you move from automatic reaction to intentional response. It’s not about being passive—it’s about being powerful in your choices and giving you agency back.

Technique 5: Journaling for Emotional Clarity

You don’t have to be a writer to benefit from journaling. Just grab a notebook and let your thoughts spill out. No filter. No judgment. I find many counselling clients find journaling very helpful for relieving stress and anger.

Here’s a simple prompt:

  • “What’s been weighing on me lately?”
  • “What am I angry about that I haven’t said?”
  • “What do I wish someone understood about me?”
  • “What has been stressful for me today?”

Writing helps you process emotions that feel tangled or stuck. It’s also a great way to track patterns—what triggers you, what calms you, what helps you feel more like yourself.

Many of my clients in therapy Cornwall use journaling between sessions to deepen their self-awareness and accelerate their growth. It helps to “bridge the gap” between counselling session too.

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” — Albert Einstein

Why These Techniques Work to help with stress and anger

Each of these tools is designed to interrupt the stress cycle.

When you’re caught in a loop of anxiety or anger, stress or worry your nervous system is in overdrive. These techniques help you shift gears—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

They’re not magic. They don’t erase problems. There’s no silver bullet to alleviate the symptoms of anxiety and anger But they give you space. And in that space, you can choose something different.

That’s the heart of therapy: creating space for change.

What If It’s More Than Just Stress?

Sometimes stress and anger are symptoms of something deeper—trauma, unresolved grief, relationship strain, or identity struggles. That’s where counselling comes in. That’s where an experienced counsellor such as myself can help.

As a sex therapist in Cornwall, I also work with men navigating issues around intimacy, shame, and emotional disconnect. These challenges often show up as anger or anxiety, but they’re rooted in deeper stories.

Counselling offers a safe, confidential space to explore those stories. To unpack what’s been buried. To rewrite the narrative.

Whether you’re dealing with workplace stress, relationship tension, or emotional overwhelm, the mental health services for men in Cornwall I provide are here to support you.

What to Expect from Counselling

If you’re considering therapy, here’s what it might look like:

  • A safe space to talk without judgment or pressure
  • Structured weekly sessions focused on your goals
  • Evidence-based techniques like CBT, PCT, and Solution Focused Therapy
  • Support for anger, stress, anxiety, trauma, and more

You don’t have to have a diagnosis and you don’t have to be in crisis. You just have to be ready to explore what’s going on—and what’s possible. As an experienced counsellor, I can help you with the things that are troubling you. You can contact me here, if you’d like more information or book a session here if you’re ready to begin counselling.

One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” 

Abraham Maslow. 

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone

Stress and anger don’t make you weak. They make you human. Man, woman and child can all benefit from a space to talk. And learning to manage emotions isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress.

Whether you use the breathing technique from my video, try journaling, or decide to book a session, know this: you’re allowed to feel better. You’re allowed to ask for support. You’re allowed to change.

And whether you’re in Cornwall or online, that support is right here.

Ready to take the next step? 📘 Learn more or book your free consultation: 👉 hisownmancounselling.co.uk/?utm_source=blog&utm_medium=website&utm_campaign=present_focus

Need help with anger?

If you would like to talk to someone confidentially about managing anger, then I can help.

Help is here

5 Signs You Might Benefit From Counselling

By

On July 15, 2025

In Anxiety, Depression, Infographic, Self care

5 Signs You Might Benefit From Counselling

Recognising these signs can be the first step toward emotional well-being.

Infographic – 5 Signs You Might Benefit From Counselling

Learn more at hisownmancounselling.co.uk

a side profile of a bearded man with a wooly hat on and a red scarf who looks sad

From Bottled-Up to Breakthrough: A Real Story of Anger, Stigma, Man and Counselling

By

On June 24, 2025

In Anger management, Anxiety, Confidence, Depression, Self care

For many men, the idea of counselling (I often hear now referred to as ‘man counselling’) feels like a foreign concept—something reserved for “when things get really bad,” or worse, something that’s simply not for them. According to the Counselling Directory, only 36% of NHS referrals for psychological therapies in England are for men, despite 12.5% of men having a diagnosable mental health disorder . The truth is, counselling isn’t about weakness. It’s about strength. It’s about choosing to face what’s difficult rather than burying it. And for a lot of us, that’s the hardest part.

Clearly, in my work supporting men through anger management, stress, anxiety emotional overwhelm and with many other common mental health disorders, I’ve seen how powerful it can be when someone decides to take that first step. Undoubtedly, I’ve also seen how stigma—both internal and external—can keep that step just out of reach.

This post is for the man who’s been holding it all in. The one who’s been told to “man up,” to “get on with it,” to “stop overthinking.” If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to keep carrying it all by yourself.

a-man-looking-anxious-looking-out-of-a-window

The Messages We Inherit

From a young age, many of us are taught a very narrow definition of what it means to be a man. We’re told to be strong, stoic, and self-reliant. We’re praised for our ability to “keep it together” and discouraged from showing vulnerability.

Some people want it to happen, some wish it could happen, others make it happen – Michael Jordan

Crying? That’s weak. Talking about your feelings? That’s soft. Asking for help? That’s failure.

These messages might not always be spoken aloud, but they’re there—in the way we’re raised, the media we consume, the way our mates talk about emotions (or don’t). Over time, they become internalised. And when life gets hard—as it inevitably does—we often don’t have the tools or the language to deal with it.

Instead, we bottle it up. We push it down. We tell ourselves to get over it. Until one day, it all spills out. Without doubt, this isn’t healthy.

When Anger Becomes the Default

One of the most common ways this emotional suppression shows up is through anger. And that’s why anger management for men is such a vital part of the conversation.

Anger is often misunderstood. It’s not inherently bad—it’s a signal. A flare going up to say, “Something’s not right.” But when we don’t know how to interpret that signal, or when we’ve been taught to ignore everything underneath it, anger becomes the only emotion we allow ourselves to feel.

I’ve worked with men who describe themselves as “always on edge,” “quick to snap,” or “just not myself anymore.” They’re not bad people. They’re not broken. They’re overwhelmed. And they’ve never been given permission—or the tools—to unpack what’s really going on.

My Own Turning Point

I’ll be honest: I didn’t always believe in man counselling (or counselling for women, for that matter) either. I thought I had to figure everything out on my own. For me, opening up would make me look weak. I thought no one would understand.

It wasn’t until I sat in my first counselling session—nervous, guarded, unsure of what to say—that something shifted. I didn’t have to have the perfect words. There was no need to have to explain everything straight away. I just had to start.

And once I did, I realised how much I’d been carrying. How much I’d been hiding. How much I needed that space to just be honest—for the first time in a long time.

That session didn’t fix everything overnight. But it was the beginning of something better. It was the first time I felt like I could breathe again.

The Cost of Staying Silent

When we don’t talk about what’s going on, it doesn’t go away. It just finds other ways to show up—often in ways that hurt us or the people around us.

Maybe it’s snapping at your partner over something small. Perhaps it’s withdrawing from your mates because you don’t want to talk. Maybe it’s drinking more than usual just to take the edge off. Maybe it’s lying awake at night, your mind racing with everything you can’t say out loud.

These are signs—not of failure, but of pressure. And pressure needs a release valve. Without one, it builds. And builds. And builds.

That’s why counselling matters. It’s not about fixing you. It’s about giving you space to understand yourself. To process what’s going on beneath the surface. To learn new ways of coping that don’t involve shutting down or lashing out.

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” —Thomas Edison

What Man Counselling Actually Looks Like

Let’s demystify it a bit. Counselling isn’t lying on a couch while someone nods silently and takes notes. It’s a conversation. A safe, confidential space where you can talk about what’s really going on—without judgment, without pressure, and without having to “have it all together”. Man counselling or any type of counselling, doesn’t involve putting on a brave face and pretending “everything’s fine”, when perhaps it isn’t.

You set the pace. You decide what you want to explore. And over time, you start to notice the patterns. The triggers. The beliefs that have been shaping your behaviour for years.

In my counselling sessions with men, we often talk about:

  • Workplace stress and the pressure to perform
  • Relationship challenges and communication breakdowns
  • Unresolved anger and how it shows up in daily life
  • Low self-worth and the inner critic that never shuts up
  • The fear of being vulnerable and what it means to be emotionally honest
  • Fatherhood and the pressures of setting the right example to your children

And through those conversations, something powerful happens: clarity. Relief. A sense of control that doesn’t come from bottling things up, but from understanding them.

“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts”

 winston churchill

One Client’s Story

Let me tell you about a client—we’ll call him Tom. He came to counselling after a heated argument at work that left him shaken. It wasn’t the first time he’d lost his temper, but this time felt different. He was scared of what he might do next.

At first, he was sceptical. Indeed he referred to it as “man counselling” when we first spoke on the phone. He didn’t think talking would help. But he showed up. Week after week. And slowly, he started to open up and felt the benefits of counselling.

We talked about his childhood—how anger was the only emotion that was ever acknowledged in his family. He talked about how the idea of man counselling was a foreign concept to his ex military father. We talked about his job—how he felt constantly under pressure but never able to say no. We talked about his relationship—how he wanted to be more present, but didn’t know how to switch off.

Over time, Tom began to recognise his triggers. He learned how to pause before reacting. How to practice new ways of expressing himself—ways that felt authentic, not forced. He took risks with being vulnerable to those close to him.

And the best part? He started to feel more like himself again. Not a different person. Just a more grounded, more self-aware version of who he already was. Who knew man counselling could be so effective?

Rewriting the Narrative

The stigma around men’s mental health and man counselling is slowly shifting. More men are speaking up. More men are seeking support. But we still have work to do.

Every time a man chooses to talk instead of shut down, he challenges the old narrative. Every time a man says, “I’m struggling,” he gives others permission to do the same.

If you’re reading this and something resonates and you feel man counselling could help you—if you’ve been feeling stuck, angry, or overwhelmed—know this: you’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.

Counselling isn’t about being broken. It’s about being brave enough to want something better.

man-counselling

What You Can Do Today

If you’re not sure where to start, that’s okay. Start small. Be honest and start with a conversation.

  • Talk to someone you trust. A friend, a partner, a colleague. Let them know you’re finding things tough.
  • Journal your thoughts. Sometimes writing things down can help you make sense of what’s going on.
  • Book a consultation. Even if you’re not sure what you want to talk about, showing up is a powerful first step. You can book an appointment with me here (or if you can’t find a time that suits you, you can contact me here and I’ll see what I can do).

And if you’re ready to explore counselling, I offer a free consultation to help you decide if it’s the right fit. No pressure. Just a chance to talk.

Final Thoughts

You don’t have to wait for a crisis to seek support. You don’t have to hit rock bottom to deserve help. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Whether you’re dealing with anger management, stress, relationship issues, or just a general sense that something’s not right—counselling can help you find your footing again.

It’s not about changing who you are. It’s about reconnecting with the parts of you that have been buried under pressure, expectation, and silence.

You’re allowed to feel. You’re allowed to struggle. And you’re allowed to get support.

Because being your own man doesn’t mean doing it all alone. It means choosing what’s right for you—even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

Need help with anger?

If you would like to talk to someone confidentially about managing anger, then I can help.

Help is here
a-man-looking-calm

Anger Management for Men: Top Strategies for Lasting Calm

By

On May 30, 2025

In Anger management, Self care

Often, I hear men ask, “Is struggling with anger really a big enough issue to seek help?” I’ve had potential clients confess, “I’m not even sure my problem qualifies for counselling.” The reality is, if you’re hesitating and questioning whether professional support is warranted, you’re most likely already past the point when help becomes essential. Anger management for men is certainly an issue big enough to be explored in therapy.

Many men wait weeks, months, or even years before taking that crucial step—burdened by the misconception that therapy is only for extreme cases. Stepping into counselling can feel as nerve‑wracking as a high‑stakes appointment, but when it comes to anger management for men, embracing that vulnerability is the first step toward lasting calm and personal transformation. In this post, I’ll share actionable strategies—and a personal story of when I, too, lost control—to show you that the path to reclaiming your power starts with acknowledging that you deserve support.

a-young-man-looking-sad

Understanding Anger and Its Role

Anger, when managed constructively, serves as a signal that something in your life needs attention. For many men, years of conditioning—taught to “man up” and hide vulnerability—can lead to repressed emotions and explosive outbursts. Recognising anger for what it truly is—a call to address underlying issues—transforms it from a destructive impulse into a catalyst for self-insight and growth.

When discussing anger management for men, it is essential to understand that anger isn’t inherently negative. It’s a vital emotion that, when harnessed properly, can help you set boundaries, assert your needs, and protect what matters most. In other words, the goal isn’t to eliminate anger entirely but to manage it skillfully so that it contributes to a more mature and balanced life.

The Cultural Landscape of Male Anger

Traditional conceptions of masculinity often emphasise stoicism and strength, discouraging men from expressing emotion openly. Phrases like “don’t show your weakness” or “man up” reinforce a tight grip on anger, leading to internalised stress. These outdated norms can distort the way you see your anger, making it tougher to seek help. I know because I used to think that way too. I’d avoid “showing my emotions” as did many “tough guys” of the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s such as Mr T, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Clint Eastwood. Over time, this suppressed anger can erupt in destructive ways—at home, at work, or even in social settings—making anger management for men not just a personal need, but a societal necessity.

Rewriting the Narrative

Embracing a more open, authentic model of masculinity is critical. A modern understanding recognises that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a gateway to growth. When you learn to accept and express your emotions in healthy ways, you create an environment both for yourself and those around you where understanding and connection can thrive.

Recognising Your Anger Triggers

Before you can manage your anger effectively, it’s important to identify what sets you off. Triggers are as varied as the individuals who experience them. For some men, a tense situation at work might be enough; for others, a perceived slight from a friend or family member can send emotions skyrocketing.

Take a moment to reflect:

  • When was the last time you felt your anger rising?
  • What were the specific situations, settings, or interactions that sparked these feelings?
  • Is there a recurring theme that leaves you feeling devalued or disrespected?

Journaling your daily experiences is an excellent way to uncover these patterns. By recording the moments when anger surfaces, you gradually learn which scenarios call for a measured response, thereby laying the groundwork for persistent improvement in your anger management for men journey.

A Quick Glance At Controlling Anger

Below is a shareable infographic with 5 quick and practical steps you can take now to help control your anger management issues.

5 Ways to Stay Calm and Help Control Anger

Discover simple yet effective strategies to stay calm and manage anger in your daily life.

5 Ways to Stay Calm and Help Control Anger

Share this Infographic

Note: TikTok and Snapchat share links might work best on mobile devices.

Embed This Infographic

If you find this infographic useful, feel free to embed it on your website. Simply copy and paste the code below:

A Personal Turning Point: My Journey to Regaining Control

I remember a specific evening that changed everything for me—a moment when I realised that I was no longer in control of my anger. It was supposed to be a quiet family dinner, a time to unwind after a busy day. Instead, a seemingly harmless comment from a relative triggered a chain reaction of pent-up frustrations. Suddenly, words escaped me in a volley of anger, and the warm, inviting atmosphere turned cold and filled with regret.

That night, as I sat in the silence of a broken home moment, I knew something had to change. There was a feeling of powerlessness and shame—not just for the outburst but for never having addressed the underlying issues that had been building up inside me for so long. I sought professional help and immersed myself in various strategies to reclaim control over my emotions. I learned that anger management for men isn’t about suppressing anger entirely; it’s about understanding it, addressing its root causes, and ultimately channelling it into positive action.

This personal experience reshaped my life. I learned mindfulness techniques, embraced physical activity, and challenged my own negative thought patterns. Through counselling and consistent self-reflection, I turned what once seemed like a crippling flaw into a source of strength and empathy. Today, I share these strategies with other men, hoping to help them avoid the pain and regret I once felt.

Top Strategies for Lasting Calm and better Anger Management

Drawing on my own journey and evidence‑based techniques, here are several strategies that can help you achieve lasting calm:

1. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness is a cornerstone of effective anger management for men. It enables you to pause, observe your feelings without judgment, and choose a thoughtful reaction over an impulsive one. Meditation, even for just 10 minutes a day, can help you build a buffer between your triggers and your response.

Actionable Tip: Find a quiet space, sit comfortably, and focus on your breathing. When thoughts emerge, acknowledge them and gently bring your focus back to your breathing. Over time, these sessions can help you catch the early signs of anger and manage them before they escalate.

2. Engage in Physical Activity

For many men, the best way to release pent‑up anger is through physical movement. Exercise not only releases endorphins—your body’s natural mood lifters—but also provides a healthy outlet for stress and frustration.

Actionable Tip: Whether it’s a brisk walk after dinner, weight training at the gym, or practicing martial arts, schedule regular physical activity into your routine. Even a short workout can make a big difference in how you manage your anger.

3. Enhance Communication Skills

Often, anger intensifies because of misunderstandings or unspoken resentments. Learning to express your thoughts and feelings in a clear, non‑confrontational manner is critical. Effective communication can transform conflicts into constructive conversations that foster mutual respect and understanding.

Actionable Tip: Practice using “I” statements during stressful interactions. Instead of saying, “You never listen,” try, “I feel unheard when our conversations get one‑sided.” This approach can help keep discussions calm and focused on resolving the issue.

4. Challenge Negative Thought Patterns

A significant aspect of anger management for men is learning to identify and change self‑defeating thought patterns. Negative thinking can amplify your anger and set you on a path to more explosive reactions.

Actionable Tip: Keep a thought diary. Write down the distressing thoughts as they occur and then challenge them with rational, balanced perspectives. Over time, this exercise can help reframe your mindset, allowing you to approach provoking situations with a clear head.

5. Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, the journey to lasting calm requires guidance beyond what self‑help strategies can provide. Professional counselling with a specialist in anger management like me, can offer you the personalised tools and insights needed to tackle deep‑rooted issues and develop healthier responses to anger.

Actionable Tip: Consider contacting a specialist in anger management for men. A counsellor who understands the unique pressures you face can help you craft a tailored plan for managing your emotions in a way that fosters positive relationships and personal growth (my telephone number is on the right).

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” — Albert Einstein

The Role of Daily Habits in Anger Management

Even the most effective strategies require a supportive daily routine to work at their full potential. Here are a few daily practices designed to reinforce your anger management for men plan:

  • Establish a Sleep Routine: Quality sleep is crucial for emotional regulation. Aim for 7–9 hours per night. A well‑rested mind is far less susceptible to the triggers that can cause anger.
  • Maintain a Balanced Diet: What you eat directly affects your energy levels and mood. Prioritise a diet rich in whole foods, and try to stick to regular meal times to avoid sudden dips in blood sugar that can spur irritability.
  • Schedule Downtime: In our fast‑paced world, it’s easy to overlook the value of rest. Ensure you carve out time for activities you enjoy, whether that’s reading, listening to music, or spending quality time with loved ones.
  • Stay Hydrated: Dehydration can influence your mood and cognitive functions. Keep a water bottle handy and set reminders to drink throughout the day.

Embedding these small yet vital practices into your daily routine can create a stable foundation for managing anger and stress.

Overcoming Barriers Specific to Men

Acknowledging and addressing the unique challenges men face in managing anger is a critical step toward lasting calm. Societal pressures can sometimes make it seem as though asking for help is an admission of failure, but in truth, it’s a brave, necessary step.

Embracing Vulnerability

For a long time, I struggled to see vulnerability as anything but a weakness. Yet, through my journey, I learned that vulnerability is actually a key to growth. Accept that it’s okay to feel, to seek help, and to admit when you need support. This acceptance transforms anger into a signal for constructive change rather than an uncontrollable outburst.

Building a Support System

Know that you are not alone. Sharing your experiences with trusted friends, family, or support groups can be incredibly therapeutic. Whether it’s a dedicated men’s circle or one-on-one counselling, connecting with others can provide validation, understanding, and practical advice on anger management for men.

Redefining Masculinity

It’s time to challenge and overturn outdated notions of masculinity. True strength comes not from repressing your emotions, but from understanding, expressing, and managing them healthily. By embracing a modern narrative—one that values emotional intelligence alongside physical resilience—you pave the way for healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.

Creating Your Personalised Action Plan to tackle Anger

Each man’s journey with anger is unique. To see real change, you must craft a personalized action plan that addresses your specific triggers, lifestyle, and emotional needs. Here’s a simple framework to get started:

  1. Conduct a Self‑Audit: Reflect on recent moments when anger was overwhelming. Identify the circumstances, the emotions, and the resulting reactions. Write these down to pinpoint recurring themes.
  2. Set Measurable Goals: Determine what success in anger management looks like for you. Is it fewer outbursts? Improved communication in your personal relationships? Clearly defined, realistic goals will help you measure progress.
  3. Choose Targeted Strategies: From the strategies discussed—mindfulness, physical activity, improved communication, and cognitive reframing—select two or three that resonate most with you. Experiment with them and refine based on what feels most natural.
  4. Monitor Your Progress: Keep a regular journal or log to record daily experiences, note improvements, and identify recurring issues. Recognise that setbacks are part of the process and use them as learning opportunities.
  5. Celebrate Your Wins: Every step forward is a victory. Whether it’s a brief moment of calm during a stressful interaction or a successful conversation without escalation, acknowledge and celebrate these gains.
a-man-running-to-help-with-his-anger-management
“The secret to getting ahead, is getting started.” – Mark Twain

Embracing a Future of Lasting Calm

The journey to effective anger management for men is ongoing, and every step you take builds your capacity for a balanced, fulfilling life. Reflecting on my own transformation—from that painful dinner where I lost control to becoming a stronger, more self‑aware individual—I’ve seen firsthand that change is possible. What once felt like a crippling flaw has evolved into an opportunity for self-discovery and empowerment.

Every man deserves to lead a life marked by calm, clarity, and connection. Transformation begins with acknowledging that your anger isn’t your enemy; it’s a signal. A signal that, when heeded and nurtured, can direct you toward a future of personal growth, healthier relationships, and overall well‑being.

Final Thoughts on Anger Management for Men Coping Strategies.

I stand before you as living proof that the path to lasting calm in anger management for men is achievable. That turbulent evening I once experienced—when my anger overtook me and left a trail of regret—was my turning point. It forced me to confront my vulnerabilities and to embrace a comprehensive set of strategies that have since redefined my life.

If you’re reading this and recognising a piece of your own struggle, know that you are not alone. Embrace these strategies: practice mindfulness, exercise regularly, communicate assertively, and challenge those negative thought patterns. And if the journey seems too overwhelming, remember that professional counselling can offer the personalised guidance needed to turn things around.

Your journey toward lasting calm isn’t just about managing anger—it’s about reclaiming control over your narrative as a man. It’s about defining strength on your own terms, and creating a life that reflects the balance between power and vulnerability. Today’s struggles can be transformed into tomorrow’s triumphs, paving the way for a more thoughtful, resilient, and connected you.

Start by taking one small step today. Whether it’s a ten-minute meditation session, a brisk walk, or reaching out to a trusted friend or counsellor, every effort you make moves you further along the path to self‑improvement and lasting calm.

Thank you for joining me on this exploration of anger management for men. If you have insights, questions, or personal experiences you’d like to share, please leave a comment below or reach out directly. Your story could be exactly what another man needs to hear on his journey toward emotional empowerment and true calm.

Need help with anger?

If you would like to talk to someone confidentially about managing anger, then I can help.

Help is here
a-young-man-looking-calm

5 Ways to Stay Calm and Help Control Anger

By

On May 29, 2025

In Anger management, Anxiety, Self care

5 Ways to Stay Calm and Help Control Anger

Share this Infographic

Note: TikTok and Snapchat share links might work best on mobile devices.

Embed This Infographic

If you find this infographic useful, feel free to embed it on your website. Simply copy and paste the code below:

A-photo-of-a-smart-watch

Therapy for Men: Empower Your Mental Health

By

On February 11, 2025

In Anxiety, Confidence, Depression, Self care

Breaking the Stigma: How Therapy for Men Can Help Overcome Mental Health Challenges

Mental health issues don’t discriminate—they can affect anyone, regardless of age, background, or gender. Yet, society often places a unique set of pressures on men that can make it harder to seek help. Indeed, many people still believe that therapy for men still isn’t “a thing”. In this blog post, we’ll explore some common mental health problems that men face and offer practical advice on how to manage them. Additionally, I’ll highlight how AXA and Bupa insurance can help you access free sessions with a counsellor who specialises in therapy for men like me.

Understanding Common Mental Health Issues (these can all be explored in therapy).

Anxiety

Anxiety is more than just feeling stressed or worried. It’s a persistent feeling of fear or dread that can interfere with daily activities. Common symptoms include restlessness, increased heart rate, and difficulty concentrating. Anxiety disorders are among the most common mental health issues, affecting millions of men worldwide.

man-in-a-hat-back-to-camera

Depression

Depression is characterised by a prolonged feeling of sadness or a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed. It can also manifest as physical symptoms like fatigue, changes in appetite, and sleep disturbances. Men often experience depression differently than women, and they might be less likely to talk about their feelings, which can lead to a delay in seeking help.

Stress

While stress is a normal response to challenging situations, chronic stress can lead to serious health issues, including heart disease, high blood pressure, and mental health disorders. Men often face unique stressors related to societal expectations, work pressures, and the traditional role of being a provider.

Practical Tips for Managing Mental Health

Talk About It

One of the most effective ways to deal with mental health issues is to talk about them. This is really what therapy for men is. But whether it’s with a trusted friend, family member, or a professional counsellor, opening up can provide relief and support. Talking about our problems is therapy for men and women. Men often feel the pressure to be stoic and self-reliant, but discussing mental health openly can break down these barriers and promote healing.

Stay Active

Physical activity is a great way to reduce stress and anxiety. It doesn’t have to be intense; even a daily walk can make a significant difference. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters, and it can also serve as a healthy distraction from negative thoughts. Exercise it therapeutic.

Develop Healthy Habits

Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and limiting alcohol and caffeine can have a positive impact on your mental health. These habits can help stabilise your mood and improve your overall well-being. Remember, small changes can make a big difference. Talking about how your feeling is a healthy habit too.

Seek Professional Help

If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek help from a mental health professional. Counsellors and therapists can provide strategies and support tailored to your specific needs. In many cases, talking to a professional can help you understand the root causes of your issues and develop effective coping mechanisms. I provide therapy for men to address unique challenges related to societal expectations, encourage emotional expression, and reduces isolation. It promotes early intervention and overall wellbeing, helping men navigate their mental health needs more effectively.

“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

 Bruce Lee

Insurers

The Role of Insurance in Mental Health Care
Accessing mental health care can sometimes be a financial burden. However, if you have insurance with providers like AXA or Bupa, you might be eligible for free sessions with a mental health professional, who specialises in therapy for men, such as me. Both insurers offer comprehensive mental health coverage as part of their plans, making it easier for you to get the help you need without worrying about the cost.

AXA

AXA Health offers a range of mental health services, including access to therapists and counsellors. Their plans often cover a set number of therapy sessions, which can be invaluable for those dealing with ongoing mental health issues. AXA also provides online resources and support to help you manage your mental health day-to-day.

Bupa

Bupa’s mental health coverage includes access to a wide network of mental health professionals. Depending on your plan, you could receive several free therapy sessions each year. Bupa also offers mental health assessments and treatment plans tailored to your specific needs. Additionally, they provide resources and tools to help you maintain your mental well-being.

Breaking the Stigma

One of the biggest barriers to seeking help is the stigma associated with mental health issues. Many men feel ashamed or embarrassed to admit they are struggling. But, therapy for men is on the increase. It’s important to remember that mental health problems are common and nothing to be ashamed of. By speaking openly about your experiences, you can help break down the stigma and encourage others to seek help as well. I’m an experienced mental health professional who has offered therapy to men for many years now. I can help.

Building a Support System

Having a strong support system can make a significant difference in managing mental health issues. Surround yourself with people who understand and support you. This could be family, friends, or even support groups. Knowing that you’re not alone and that others care about your well-being can provide immense comfort and strength. A therapist who specialises in therapy for men can be part of your support network too.

Self-Care Strategies

In addition to seeking professional help, practicing self-care is crucial for maintaining good mental health. Here are some self-care strategies to consider:

Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help you stay grounded and reduce stress.

Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide an outlet for your emotions and help you process them.

Hobbies: Engaging in activities you enjoy can provide a sense of fulfillment and distract you from negative thoughts.

Setting Boundaries: Learn to say no and prioritize your well-being. It’s okay to take a step back and focus on yourself.

You can also find free resources, which will help you manage your mental health here.

a-man-looking-thoughtful

Take Action Today

If you find yourself struggling with any of these issues, it’s important to remember that help is available and that taking action is a sign of strength. As a professional counsellor, I’m here to offer support and guidance tailored to your needs. Whether you have AXA or Bupa insurance or another provider, we can work together to find the best path forward for you. You can of course, still see me privately.

Contact me today to enquire about my availability and take the first step towards better mental health. You can reach me at 07851512049 or book an appointment here.

Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a step towards taking control of your life. Mental health issues are common and treatable, and you don’t have to face them alone. By leveraging the resources available through AXA and Bupa insurers, you can access the support you need without the financial strain. Take charge of your mental health today and start your journey towards a healthier, happier life.

an-angry-man-pulling-his-hair

Why Am I An Angry Dad? 5 Anger Triggers And How To Manage Them

By

On September 11, 2023

In Anger management, Confidence, Self care, Uncategorized

Why am I an angry dad?

It is not uncommon for dads to be angry. In fact, it’s a normal emotion that can happen in any family. But what are the types of anger that fathers experience? And how can they deal with them?

In this article, we will explore 5 triggers of anger that dads might feel and how to manage them.

Trigger 1 – Stress

Similar strategies are used to control stress and anger. One explanation for this is that both stress and anger have a psychological component, making it possible to control them mentally. Understanding the relationship between these two emotions is crucial because they both have the potential to negatively impact us, especially if they are left unmanaged.

There are a number of different things that can affect anger and stress; Long-term stress and anger exposure can harm our physical health. Getting stressed about deadlines, worrying about money or shouting at the kids are but a few examples. It may increase our blood pressure, which can lead to other problems that have an impact on both our physical and emotional well-being. Our interpersonal relationships may suffer as a result. Beyond that, excessive levels of stress and anger can lead to the development of bad behaviours that get harder to manage over time. Anxiety may increase as a result of either of these effects. Being an angry Dad isn’t good for our health or our relationships!

We need to consider how these emotions affect our lives in order to start managing the negative impacts of stress and anger. Anger can result from stress, which might result in further stress. Although neither emotion is a good thing, we shouldn’t try to force them away. Instead, we should work to regulate them by working on our understanding of the elements that influence anger and stress and developing coping mechanisms and build healthy anger management strategies.

Tip to manage stress – Breathe deep and relax

Your body and mind may feel as though they’re operating on overdrive when you are feeling stressed. Slowing your breathing and concentrating on relaxing your muscles is the simplest and most straightforward approach to relieving the stressful effects of anger. Inhale deeply for 4 seconds into your chest and stomach, hold for 2–4 seconds, and then exhale for 4 seconds. Your pulse rate will slow down as a result, and you’ll have some time to gather your thoughts.

Trigger 2 – Feeling frustrated or powerless

Regardless of a father’s upbringing, those who believe they can control their own destiny—tend to be happier, healthier, and more effective. Even the most difficult situations can be made tolerable if we believe we have some control over the outcome. While minor tensions can become overwhelming if we believe we have no control over the issue at all. Things as simple as the kids not tidying their rooms or indeed, even letting their dad into their room can be incredibly frustrating and can leave a father feeling as though he has no control, even in his own home.

“Powerlessness is inherently threatening, and it prompts a strong desire to reduce or eliminate that feeling,” says Eric Anicich, an assistant professor of management and organisation at the University of Southern California Marshall School of Business.

Tip to manage feelings of frustration or powerlessness – reconsider our approach to the problem

The first thing to do is recognise our own biases in the way we appraise our circumstances. Humans are usually quite bad at anticipating their future emotions and feelings. Positive life experiences, like winning the lottery, cause us to overestimate how happy we will feel and how long that feeling will last. Conversely, we find it difficult to envision how we will get past a threat or disappointment, such as our daughter going out to a nightclub for the first time.   Negative experiences don’t usually last as long or have the same intensity as people expect. By keeping that in mind the initial sensation of pessimism we frequently experience upon hearing bad news can be lessened by just reminding ourselves of that truth.

Practically speaking, we can regain control of the situation by finding smaller ways to help with the situation. Setting your own schedules and making the most of your space may help you restore some sense of autonomy if you have been forced to work from home, for example.

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

Theodore Roosevelt.

Trigger 3 – Feeling a lack of respect

The feeling of being disrespected can be something that is quite triggering for many dad’s and can often make them feel quite angry. This could indeed be the reason why you ask yourself why am I an angry dad. In fact, most people have very little tolerance for being disrespected and those who consistently feel as though others have little or no respect for them often suffer with poor self-esteem and have a poor self image.

If you feel this way, it could be worth asking yourself “what does it mean to be disrespected”? You’ll probably find that your answer is different for example, to the dad sitting next to you. What you feel is disrespectful, may not feel disrespectful to someone else. For example, you may feel that it’s disrespectful of your son not to thank you for buying him an ice cream but another dad might be fine with it. That other dad may feel it’s disrespectful for their daughter to go to bed without saying “good night” but it might not bother you at all.

Being disrespected is a subjective feeling and will differ from person to person, from dad to dad. As it’s a personal feeling and differs depending on your own values, there’s a possibility that it’s the way you think that is causing the feelings of disrespect, rather than someone, a child perhaps or a partner, being disrespectful. If you think about it, what motivation does someone have to disrespect you personally? Would one of your children, for example, really set out to hurt you? Are they even old enough to be capable of doing that to you? Disrespect can often be born out of anger, fear or frustration or all of those emotions.

Tip to manage feeling a lack of respect

If you find yourself immediately feeling disrespected when someone doesn’t behave as you’d expect them to, you may be assuming the worst and jumping to conclusions. Challenge yourself to think of why a person may have behaved the way they did. For example, if someone pulled out on you in traffic, are they really being disrespectful to you personally or could it be that they’re late for work? Could they be preoccupied with some bad news about an elderly relative and didn’t realise they hadn’t considered you? Below are some things you can ask yourself when you are feeling disrespected that will make you feel better and help you with wondering why you’re an angry dad.

  • Will whatever it is that has made me feel disrespected matter to me in 12 months or even a few day’s?
  • Am I responding appropriately? Or am I responding with anger and frustration. Should I try addressing the issue calmly and assertively?
  • Am I communicating my expectations clearly? Ensure that your children understand your expectations for respect and behaviour.

Trigger 4 – Lack of sleep

A lack of sleep can significantly contribute to feelings of being disrespected by your children. Sleep deprivation often leads to irritability and a shorter fuse. This can make even minor misbehaviors or disagreements with your children escalate into major sources of frustration and perceived disrespect.

Exhaustion also diminishes your ability to empathise with your children’s needs and emotions. This may cause you to interpret their actions as intentional disobedience or disrespect when they may simply be expressing their own needs or frustrations.

Furthermore, sleep-deprived dad’s may struggle to make rational decisions and react impulsively to perceived challenges. This can lead to misinterpretations of your children’s behaviour and heightened feelings of being disrespected. This emotional vulnerability means that your children’s actions, even if not intended to be disrespectful, can feel hurtful or offensive, further intensifying these feelings.

Tip to manage a lack of sleep

To address the negative impact of sleep deprivation on your perception of respect from your children, consider implementing these strategies:

  1. Prioritize Sleep: Make sleep a priority by establishing a regular sleep schedule. Ensure you get enough hours of quality rest to enhance your emotional stability and patience.
  2. Share Responsibilities: Enlist the help of your partner or support network to share nighttime parenting duties. This allows for breaks and uninterrupted sleep, reducing sleep-related irritability.
  3. Mindfulness and Relaxation: Practice mindfulness techniques or relaxation exercises to manage stress and enhance your emotional resilience. Breathing exercises and meditation can help you stay calm in challenging parenting situations.
  4. Communication: Openly communicate with your children about your need for sleep. Explain that when you’re well-rested, you can be a more patient and understanding parent.
  5. Seek Professional Help: If sleep deprivation persists and significantly affects your ability to parent effectively, consult a healthcare professional. They can assess and address any underlying sleep disorders or recommend strategies to improve your sleep quality.

By prioritising sleep and adopting effective coping mechanisms, you can better manage feelings of disrespect from your children that may arise due to sleep-related irritability and stress. Ultimately, fostering a well-rested and emotionally stable environment benefits both you and your family.

Trigger 5 – Communication issues

Communication problems can make you an angry dad by creating frustration and misunderstanding. When parents and children struggle to express their needs, emotions, or expectations effectively, it often leads to conflicts, misinterpretations, and heightened anger. Inadequate communication can make a dad feel unheard or disrespected, triggering anger in response to perceived disrespect or disobedience.

Tip to manage communication issues

To address communication issues and mitigate anger, active listening is essential. Encourage open dialogue with your children, offering them a safe space to express themselves without fear of judgment. Teach them effective communication skills and actively listen to their concerns.

Model respectful communication, and when conflicts arise, seek resolution through calm discussions, empathy, and compromise. A therapist like myself can help you develop valuable tools for improving communication and reducing anger within the family dynamic.

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”

Aristotle

In conclusion, understanding the factors that contribute to being an angry dad is the first step in becoming a more patient and understanding parent. From the pressures of life to miscommunications and unresolved personal issues, anger can easily find its way into our interactions with our children. However, it’s important to remember that anger doesn’t have to be the default response.

In this blog post, we’ve explored five solutions to address and manage anger as a parent:

  1. Prioritizing self-care and managing stress to maintain emotional balance.
  2. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and your children.
  3. Improving communication through active listening and empathy.
  4. Seeking professional help when unresolved personal issues contribute to anger.
  5. Modeling healthy emotional expression and conflict resolution for your children.

By implementing these solutions, you can create a more harmonious and nurturing environment for your family. This will foster a deeper connection with your children and reduce anger’s impact on your role as a dad. Remember, parenting is a journey of growth. With the right tools and mindset, you can navigate it with patience, empathy, and love.

Need help with anger?

If you would like to talk to someone confidentially about managing anger, then I can help.

Help is here

Page 1 of 2

Next →

Address
6 Hull Road
Camborne TR14 8GS

Hours
Monday–Thursday: 09:00–19:00
Friday: 09:00–17:00

Phone
Mob: 07851512049

Email kieran.mountney@hisownman.com

Working online via Zoom

Search

Categories

Please follow & like us :)

RSS
Follow by Email
Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
LinkedIn
Share
Instagram
Get new posts by email

Home & Contact & About & Blog & Online Counselling & Boys and Teenagers