Author: Kieran Page 1 of 2

Often, I hear men ask, “Is struggling with anger really a big enough issue to seek help?” I’ve had potential clients confess, “I’m not even sure my problem qualifies for counselling.” The reality is, if you’re hesitating and questioning whether professional support is warranted, you’re most likely already past the point when help becomes essential. Anger management for men is certainly an issue big enough to be explored in therapy.

Many men wait weeks, months, or even years before taking that crucial step—burdened by the misconception that therapy is only for extreme cases. Stepping into counselling can feel as nerve‑wracking as a high‑stakes appointment, but when it comes to anger management for men, embracing that vulnerability is the first step toward lasting calm and personal transformation. In this post, I’ll share actionable strategies—and a personal story of when I, too, lost control—to show you that the path to reclaiming your power starts with acknowledging that you deserve support.

Understanding Anger and Its Role

Anger, when managed constructively, serves as a signal that something in your life needs attention. For many men, years of conditioning—taught to “man up” and hide vulnerability—can lead to repressed emotions and explosive outbursts. Recognising anger for what it truly is—a call to address underlying issues—transforms it from a destructive impulse into a catalyst for self-insight and growth.

When discussing anger management for men, it is essential to understand that anger isn’t inherently negative. It’s a vital emotion that, when harnessed properly, can help you set boundaries, assert your needs, and protect what matters most. In other words, the goal isn’t to eliminate anger entirely but to manage it skillfully so that it contributes to a more mature and balanced life.

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The Cultural Landscape of Male Anger

Traditional conceptions of masculinity often emphasise stoicism and strength, discouraging men from expressing emotion openly. Phrases like “don’t show your weakness” or “man up” reinforce a tight grip on anger, leading to internalised stress. These outdated norms can distort the way you see your anger, making it tougher to seek help. I know because I used to think that way too. I’d avoid “showing my emotions” as did many “tough guys” of the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s such as Mr T, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Clint Eastwood. Over time, this suppressed anger can erupt in destructive ways—at home, at work, or even in social settings—making anger management for men not just a personal need, but a societal necessity.

Rewriting the Narrative

Embracing a more open, authentic model of masculinity is critical. A modern understanding recognises that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a gateway to growth. When you learn to accept and express your emotions in healthy ways, you create an environment both for yourself and those around you where understanding and connection can thrive.

Recognising Your Anger Triggers

Before you can manage your anger effectively, it’s important to identify what sets you off. Triggers are as varied as the individuals who experience them. For some men, a tense situation at work might be enough; for others, a perceived slight from a friend or family member can send emotions skyrocketing.

Take a moment to reflect:

When was the last time you felt your anger rising?
What were the specific situations, settings, or interactions that sparked these feelings?
Is there a recurring theme that leaves you feeling devalued or disrespected?

Journaling your daily experiences is an excellent way to uncover these patterns. By recording the moments when anger surfaces, you gradually learn which scenarios call for a measured response, thereby laying the groundwork for persistent improvement in your anger management for men journey.

A Quick Glance At Controlling Anger

Below is a shareable infographic with 5 quick and practical steps you can take now to help control your anger management issues.

5 Ways to Stay Calm and Help Control Anger

Discover simple yet effective strategies to stay calm and manage anger in your daily life.

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A Personal Turning Point: My Journey to Regaining Control

I remember a specific evening that changed everything for me—a moment when I realised that I was no longer in control of my anger. It was supposed to be a quiet family dinner, a time to unwind after a busy day. Instead, a seemingly harmless comment from a relative triggered a chain reaction of pent-up frustrations. Suddenly, words escaped me in a volley of anger, and the warm, inviting atmosphere turned cold and filled with regret.

That night, as I sat in the silence of a broken home moment, I knew something had to change. There was a feeling of powerlessness and shame—not just for the outburst but for never having addressed the underlying issues that had been building up inside me for so long. I sought professional help and immersed myself in various strategies to reclaim control over my emotions. I learned that anger management for men isn’t about suppressing anger entirely; it’s about understanding it, addressing its root causes, and ultimately channelling it into positive action.

This personal experience reshaped my life. I learned mindfulness techniques, embraced physical activity, and challenged my own negative thought patterns. Through counselling and consistent self-reflection, I turned what once seemed like a crippling flaw into a source of strength and empathy. Today, I share these strategies with other men, hoping to help them avoid the pain and regret I once felt.

Top Strategies for Lasting Calm and better Anger Management

Drawing on my own journey and evidence‑based techniques, here are several strategies that can help you achieve lasting calm:

1. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness is a cornerstone of effective anger management for men. It enables you to pause, observe your feelings without judgment, and choose a thoughtful reaction over an impulsive one. Meditation, even for just 10 minutes a day, can help you build a buffer between your triggers and your response.

Actionable Tip: Find a quiet space, sit comfortably, and focus on your breathing. When thoughts emerge, acknowledge them and gently bring your focus back to your breathing. Over time, these sessions can help you catch the early signs of anger and manage them before they escalate.

2. Engage in Physical Activity

For many men, the best way to release pent‑up anger is through physical movement. Exercise not only releases endorphins—your body’s natural mood lifters—but also provides a healthy outlet for stress and frustration.

Actionable Tip: Whether it’s a brisk walk after dinner, weight training at the gym, or practicing martial arts, schedule regular physical activity into your routine. Even a short workout can make a big difference in how you manage your anger.

3. Enhance Communication Skills

Often, anger intensifies because of misunderstandings or unspoken resentments. Learning to express your thoughts and feelings in a clear, non‑confrontational manner is critical. Effective communication can transform conflicts into constructive conversations that foster mutual respect and understanding.

Actionable Tip: Practice using “I” statements during stressful interactions. Instead of saying, “You never listen,” try, “I feel unheard when our conversations get one‑sided.” This approach can help keep discussions calm and focused on resolving the issue.

4. Challenge Negative Thought Patterns

A significant aspect of anger management for men is learning to identify and change self‑defeating thought patterns. Negative thinking can amplify your anger and set you on a path to more explosive reactions.

Actionable Tip: Keep a thought diary. Write down the distressing thoughts as they occur and then challenge them with rational, balanced perspectives. Over time, this exercise can help reframe your mindset, allowing you to approach provoking situations with a clear head.

5. Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, the journey to lasting calm requires guidance beyond what self‑help strategies can provide. Professional counselling with a specialist in anger management like me, can offer you the personalised tools and insights needed to tackle deep‑rooted issues and develop healthier responses to anger.

Actionable Tip: Consider contacting a specialist in anger management for men. A counsellor who understands the unique pressures you face can help you craft a tailored plan for managing your emotions in a way that fosters positive relationships and personal growth (my telephone number is on the right).

winston-churchill-head-and-shoulders-black-and-white — **“I never worry about action, but only inaction.”** – Winston Churchill

The Role of Daily Habits in Anger Management

Even the most effective strategies require a supportive daily routine to work at their full potential. Here are a few daily practices designed to reinforce your anger management for men plan:

Establish a Sleep Routine: Quality sleep is crucial for emotional regulation. Aim for 7–9 hours per night. A well‑rested mind is far less susceptible to the triggers that can cause anger.
Maintain a Balanced Diet: What you eat directly affects your energy levels and mood. Prioritise a diet rich in whole foods, and try to stick to regular meal times to avoid sudden dips in blood sugar that can spur irritability.
Schedule Downtime: In our fast‑paced world, it’s easy to overlook the value of rest. Ensure you carve out time for activities you enjoy, whether that’s reading, listening to music, or spending quality time with loved ones.
Stay Hydrated: Dehydration can influence your mood and cognitive functions. Keep a water bottle handy and set reminders to drink throughout the day.

Embedding these small yet vital practices into your daily routine can create a stable foundation for managing anger and stress.

Overcoming Barriers Specific to Men

Acknowledging and addressing the unique challenges men face in managing anger is a critical step toward lasting calm. Societal pressures can sometimes make it seem as though asking for help is an admission of failure, but in truth, it’s a brave, necessary step.

Embracing Vulnerability

For a long time, I struggled to see vulnerability as anything but a weakness. Yet, through my journey, I learned that vulnerability is actually a key to growth. Accept that it’s okay to feel, to seek help, and to admit when you need support. This acceptance transforms anger into a signal for constructive change rather than an uncontrollable outburst.

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Building a Support System

Know that you are not alone. Sharing your experiences with trusted friends, family, or support groups can be incredibly therapeutic. Whether it’s a dedicated men’s circle or one-on-one counselling, connecting with others can provide validation, understanding, and practical advice on anger management for men.

Redefining Masculinity

It’s time to challenge and overturn outdated notions of masculinity. True strength comes not from repressing your emotions, but from understanding, expressing, and managing them healthily. By embracing a modern narrative—one that values emotional intelligence alongside physical resilience—you pave the way for healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.

Creating Your Personalised Action Plan to tackle Anger

Each man’s journey with anger is unique. To see real change, you must craft a personalized action plan that addresses your specific triggers, lifestyle, and emotional needs. Here’s a simple framework to get started:

Conduct a Self‑Audit: Reflect on recent moments when anger was overwhelming. Identify the circumstances, the emotions, and the resulting reactions. Write these down to pinpoint recurring themes.
Set Measurable Goals: Determine what success in anger management looks like for you. Is it fewer outbursts? Improved communication in your personal relationships? Clearly defined, realistic goals will help you measure progress.
Choose Targeted Strategies: From the strategies discussed—mindfulness, physical activity, improved communication, and cognitive reframing—select two or three that resonate most with you. Experiment with them and refine based on what feels most natural.
Monitor Your Progress: Keep a regular journal or log to record daily experiences, note improvements, and identify recurring issues. Recognise that setbacks are part of the process and use them as learning opportunities.
Celebrate Your Wins: Every step forward is a victory. Whether it’s a brief moment of calm during a stressful interaction or a successful conversation without escalation, acknowledge and celebrate these gains.

a-man-running-to-help-with-his-anger-management — **“The secret to getting ahead, is getting started.”** – Mark Twain

Embracing a Future of Lasting Calm

The journey to effective anger management for men is ongoing, and every step you take builds your capacity for a balanced, fulfilling life. Reflecting on my own transformation—from that painful dinner where I lost control to becoming a stronger, more self‑aware individual—I’ve seen firsthand that change is possible. What once felt like a crippling flaw has evolved into an opportunity for self-discovery and empowerment.

Every man deserves to lead a life marked by calm, clarity, and connection. Transformation begins with acknowledging that your anger isn’t your enemy; it’s a signal. A signal that, when heeded and nurtured, can direct you toward a future of personal growth, healthier relationships, and overall well‑being.

Final Thoughts on Anger Management for Men Coping Strategies.

I stand before you as living proof that the path to lasting calm in anger management for men is achievable. That turbulent evening I once experienced—when my anger overtook me and left a trail of regret—was my turning point. It forced me to confront my vulnerabilities and to embrace a comprehensive set of strategies that have since redefined my life.

If you’re reading this and recognising a piece of your own struggle, know that you are not alone. Embrace these strategies: practice mindfulness, exercise regularly, communicate assertively, and challenge those negative thought patterns. And if the journey seems too overwhelming, remember that professional counselling can offer the personalised guidance needed to turn things around.

Your journey toward lasting calm isn’t just about managing anger—it’s about reclaiming control over your narrative as a man. It’s about defining strength on your own terms, and creating a life that reflects the balance between power and vulnerability. Today’s struggles can be transformed into tomorrow’s triumphs, paving the way for a more thoughtful, resilient, and connected you.

Start by taking one small step today. Whether it’s a ten-minute meditation session, a brisk walk, or reaching out to a trusted friend or counsellor, every effort you make moves you further along the path to self‑improvement and lasting calm.

Thank you for joining me on this exploration of anger management for men. If you have insights, questions, or personal experiences you’d like to share, please leave a comment below or reach out directly. Your story could be exactly what another man needs to hear on his journey toward emotional empowerment and true calm.

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5 Ways to Stay Calm and Help Control Anger

By Kieran

On May 29, 2025

In Anger management, Anxiety, Self care

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Unlocking Anger Management for Men: Effective Strategies for a Healthier Life

By Kieran

On April 21, 2025

In Anger management

By Kieran Anger Management April 2025

Anger is a powerful emotion—one that if left unchecked can cast shadows over your relationships, career, and overall quality of life. At His Own Man Counselling, I believe that understanding your anger is the first step towards transforming it into a powerful catalyst for change. Anger management for men is something I find many men struggle with. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore why anger manifests the way it does, identify common triggers, and introduce practical strategies uniquely tailored for men. Our goal isn’t to suppress anger but to harness it, using healthy, effective methods that lead to a richer, more balanced life.

Understanding Anger: Beyond Fury to a Valuable Messenger

Anger has long been portrayed as a negative, destructive force, yet it is, in fact, a natural response deeply embedded in our survival instinct. Think of anger as an internal alert system, signalling that something isn’t right. When you feel that surge, it could be your body’s way of urging you to pay attention to unresolved issues or unmet needs. Anger management for men has never been so important.

Men, in particular, often face societal pressures to remain stoic. Many are taught from an early age that emotional expressions, especially those perceived as “strong” like anger, should be masked. This suppression can lead to explosive outbursts later in life or even mask other forms of emotional distress. True empowerment comes from acknowledging these emotions as valid—and then understanding how to address them constructively rather than letting them dictate your behaviour.

Over time, anger, when understood and managed properly, can become a tool for introspection and growth rather than destruction. Each outburst is a signpost pointing towards areas in your life that may need re-evaluation or change.

Digging Deeper: The Roots and Triggers of Anger (and why anger management for men is so important)

Every man’s emotional landscape is unique, but certain experiences and situations serve as universal triggers. Understanding these can help you pinpoint the moments when your anger is about to take hold, offering a chance to intervene before the situation escalates. Common triggers include:

Workplace Stress: High-pressure deadlines, a lack of recognition, or conflict with colleagues can all contribute to building irritability. When stress at work spills into your personal life, it can compound your feelings of frustration.
Relationship Tensions: Whether it’s a partner, friend, or family member, the expectations and misunderstandings that occur in close relationships can unearth a deep-seated sense of betrayal or hurt. Often, this resentment is not only about the present moment but also past experiences.
Unresolved Past Wounds: Many men carry emotional scars from earlier experiences—be it childhood trauma, failed relationships, or past professional disappointments. These unresolved issues can resurface unexpectedly, reactivating old patterns of anger.
Societal Pressures: The unspoken mandate to be strong, silent, and unyielding can lead to a build-up of anger. Feeling the need to live up to a rigid definition of masculinity often means bottling up emotions until they ignite unexpectedly.
Financial or Personal Setbacks: Struggles such as financial instability or personal loss can shatter the sense of security that men often rely on, leading to sudden and intense anger.

By taking time to identify your own “red flags,” you can begin to develop a personalised blueprint for managing these emotions. Recognising your triggers is like mapping out the terrain before embarking on a journey; it prepares you for the bumps along the way and allows you to navigate them more skilfully.

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Effective Strategies for Mastering Your Anger (anger management for men)

Once you’ve begun to understand both the origins and triggers of your anger, the next step is to adopt practical techniques to manage it effectively. Below are several strategies, each designed to empower you to take control of your emotional responses and steer your life onto a healthier path.

1. Recognise, Record, and Reflect

Journaling Your Emotions:
Documenting your feelings can unleash a newfound clarity. When you journal your experiences, you not only record symptoms of anger but also begin to see patterns over time. Over days or weeks, your entries can serve as clues, helping to pinpoint recurring triggers—be it a conversation, a certain time of day, or even particular people.

Reflection:
Give yourself permission to ask, “What really sets me off?” Each time anger flares up, take a moment afterward to dissect the situation. What were you feeling beneath the anger? Was it hurt, disappointment, or perhaps a sense of injustice? This reflective practice is the foundation of transforming your anger into a tool for self-improvement.

2. The Art of Pausing: Breathe, Count, and Think

Developing a habit of pausing before reacting can dismantle the automatic chain reaction of anger. When you feel anger building, consciously slow down your breath. Simple techniques such as inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly can significantly reduce your physiological response. Physically counting down from ten or observing your immediate surroundings creates a buffer—a small window where you can choose your response instead of reacting impulsively.

Mindful Breathing Techniques:
Practicing mindful breathing daily can pay dividends over time. Commit to a routine such as the “4-7-8 method” (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8). Over sessions, you may find that this practice not only lowers your immediate stress but also builds a reservoir of tranquillity you can tap into when needed.

There are also a number of free resources that may help too, which you can find here.

“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts”
winston churchill

3. Channeling Physical Energy: Movement as a Release Valve

Exercise isn’t merely a tool for physical fitness; it’s a powerful method to channel pent-up anger. Whether you opt for a brisk walk, a session in the gym, or an immersive sport, physical activity lowers cortisol levels and boosts endorphins—your body’s natural mood lifters. Regular exercise can also serve as a distraction, helping to shift your focus away from negative thoughts. Exercise is both a cost effective and reliable way to work on anger management for men.

Choosing the Right Activity:
Consider activities that you genuinely enjoy. Running might offer a sense of freedom and the rush of endorphins, while strength training might build both physical and mental resilience. Experiment with different forms of exercise until you find one that resonates with your inner rhythm.

4. Cultivating Awareness: Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness is the practice of staying present in the moment without judgment. In the hustle of daily life, anger often stems from worries about the future or regrets from the past. Meditation teaches you to quiet that mental chatter and allows you to observe your emotions as they arise, without fully engaging with them.

Establishing a Routine:
Start small. Set aside five to ten minutes each day to sit quietly, focusing solely on the rhythm of your breath. As with any practice, consistency matters. Over weeks and months, you may notice a subtle shift in your reactivity to stressful events—a newfound calm that becomes your inner refuge.

5. Reimagining Communication: Expressing Rather Than Exploding

Effective communication is a cornerstone of managing anger and if we’re to successfully implement anger management for men, communication must have a place. Instead of bottling up your emotions until they explode, learn to express them with clarity and respect. This might mean stating your feelings using “I” statements (e.g., “I feel disrespected when…”) or taking a pause until you can communicate calmly. Sessions with a counsellor like me, offer a safe space to rehearse these skills.

Role-Playing Scenarios:
Sometimes the anticipation of conflict can intensify anger. In therapy, role-playing different scenarios can provide rehearsal space for handling difficult conversations. This proactive approach can build your confidence in dealing with triggers in real-life situations.

6. Building a Support Network

Isolation can often exacerbate feelings of anger. Establish a support network composed of trusted friends, family members, or fellow men who understand the struggles and triumphs of managing anger. Whether through group therapy sessions, peer support groups, or informal gatherings, connecting with others can provide both accountability and comfort.

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The Power of Shared Stories:
Hearing others share their experiences can be liberating. Sometimes, realising that you are not alone in your struggles serves as a potent reminder that vulnerability and strength coexist. You might find that the simple act of sharing not only lightens your emotional load but also fosters deeper connections with others.

Integrating Calmer Habits into a Balanced Lifestyle

Effective anger management isn’t a one-time fix—it’s a lifestyle. Lasting change comes from integrating small, positive habits into your everyday routine. It’s about creating a holistic framework that nurtures both your mental and physical well-being. Below are some ways which can help with anger management for men.

Sleep, Nutrition, and Routine

Quality Sleep:
Rest is more important than you might think. Sleep deprivation can make irritability worse and lower your patience threshold. Establish a regular sleep schedule. This might include winding down an hour before bed with calming activities like reading or gentle stretching.

Balanced Nutrition:
What you eat directly influences how you feel. A diet rich in whole foods, lean proteins, and vegetables can help maintain steady energy levels and reduce mood fluctuations. Consider incorporating foods known for their mood-stabilising properties—like omega-3 fatty acids, found in fish and flaxseeds—into your diet.

Creating a Daily Routine:
Small rituals, such as a morning meditation or an evening walk, can provide structure that buffers you against stress. Routines help your body and mind predict what comes next, reducing the chance for unexpected triggers to unsettle you.

Structured Downtime and Creative Outlets

Allocating time for leisure activities is essential. Engage in hobbies that stimulate your intellect and soothe your emotions, whether that’s painting, writing, gardening, or playing a musical instrument. These creative outlets offer a way to express yourself without words, unlocking emotions and providing a welcome distraction from stress.

Digital Detox:
In today’s 24/7 connected world, constant notifications and digital overload can contribute to stress. Schedule periods during your day to disconnect from digital devices. Use this time to focus on personal growth, connect with others in person, or simply enjoy silence.

The Transformative Role of Professional Counselling

At times, self-guided strategies and personal reflection aren’t enough to untangle the complexities of anger. This is where professional counselling comes in—offering a safe, judgment-free environment where deeper emotional work can take place. Professional support not only helps in recognising unhelpful patterns but also provides tailored strategies based on your unique circumstances. If you’d like support from an experienced therapist, who has worked with hundreds of men to control their anger, you can contact me here.

A Space for Honest Reflection:
Counselling can help dismantle the myth that anger is an unchangeable trait. In sessions, you’re encouraged to explore your past, understand your present triggers, and constructively plan for the future. The process is collaborative; the therapist becomes a guide, walking alongside you as you progress on your journey. I’m here to help.

Breaking Down Barriers:
In many cases, cultural expectations make it difficult for men to seek help. Breaking down these barriers is not a sign of weakness—it’s an act of profound courage and self-care. By choosing to engage in counselling, you’re taking a stand against the stigma surrounding mental health and affirming your right to a balanced, fulfilling life.

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Tech-Enhanced Support:
In addition to face-to-face sessions, many counselling practices now offer digital therapy options, giving you the flexibility to work on your anger management at your own pace. Whether through video calls or dedicated mental health apps, technology ensures that support is always within reach. I offer both face to face and online sessions via Zoom or Whatsapp. Both can be an effective solution for your anger difficulties.

Crafting a Personal Action Plan

Unlocking anger management is an ongoing process—a commitment to personal evolution. Here’s how you can create a step-by-step action plan to integrate these strategies into your everyday life:

Self-Assessment:
Begin with a candid assessment of your anger. Identify the situations and triggers that set you off and consider how you typically react. This honest review is the foundation of your action plan.
Set Realistic Goals:
Instead of aiming for drastic changes overnight, set small, achievable goals. Perhaps start by incorporating a daily breathing exercise or scheduling a consultation session with a counsellor like me. Celebrate each milestone, no matter how seemingly small.
Develop a Routine:
Build a daily routine that includes elements of physical exercise, mindfulness practices, and downtime. Consistency is key. Routines can gradually reshape your emotional responses and make coping mechanisms feel more natural.
Seek Feedback:
Talk with trusted friends or a mentor about your progress. Constructive feedback can offer new perspectives and reinforce your commitment to change.
Revisit and Revise:
As your journey unfolds, periodically revisit your action plan. Are the strategies working? Do new triggers emerge? An adaptable plan keeps you engaged and responsive to your evolving needs.

A Final Thought on Empowerment Through Transformation

Transforming your relationship with anger is not a destination—it’s a journey. Each step you take, whether it’s learning to breathe deeply in moments of stress or sharing your vulnerabilities with someone you trust, is part of an ongoing transformation towards a healthier, more balanced life. Every challenge you overcome adds another layer to your emotional resilience.

Harnessing anger is about reclaiming control. It’s about redefining what strength means, not as the absence of emotion but as the thoughtful navigation of all that you feel. Here at His Own Man Counselling, my aim is to help you see that empowerment lies in acknowledging and addressing your emotions rather than wallowing in them.

Some people want it to happen, some wish it could happen, others make it happen – Michael Jordan

If you’re ready to take the next step in this transformative journey—whether through counselling sessions, joining a supportive group, or simply trying out some of the techniques mentioned above—know that every effort counts. The path to managing anger is not always linear, but with determination, self-reflection, and the right support, a healthier, more empowered version of yourself is within reach.

Beyond the Basics: Exploring Complementary Avenues

While the strategies above provide a strong foundation for managing anger, consider broadening your approach by exploring complementary avenues that are effective anger management for men solutions:

Workshops and Group Therapy: Engaging in group sessions can transform solo struggles into shared experiences. Hearing how others cope provides both insight and validation.
Literary Exploration: There are many insightful books on anger management and masculinity. Reading widely can reinforce your strategies and introduce new techniques from different perspectives.
Mind-Body Practices: Yoga and Tai Chi, for instance, merge physical activity with mindfulness, often proving to be effective in mitigating anger through balanced energy flow.
Art Therapy: Sometimes, words aren’t enough. Creative practices—such as drawing, sculpting, or music—can pave new pathways for expressing emotions that might otherwise remain unspoken.

Exploring these additional methods can not only diversify your coping toolkit but also offer a multifaceted approach that is more deeply woven into your daily life. This comprehensive, ever-adapting strategy is what paves the way for enduring change. All of the methods about work hand in hand with therapy for anger management.

Conclusion

Anger is a natural and often misunderstood emotion. By reframing it as a signal rather than a sentence, and by employing practical strategies—from mindful breathing and physical exercise to professional counselling—you can learn to manage and even harness your anger in constructive ways. Embrace the fact that each thoughtful step you take is part of a larger journey towards improved mental health and overall well-being.

At His Own Man Counselling, I am dedicated to providing effective anger management for men on this transformative path. Whether you’re just beginning to explore your feelings or you’ve tried various methods before, remember: the journey to a healthier life starts with a single step. Keep moving forward, even when it feels challenging, and trust that with determination and the right support, you will unlock a version of yourself that is stronger, calmer, and more resilient.

By expanding your emotional toolbox and integrating these strategies into daily life, you’re not just managing anger; you’re opening the door to personal growth, healthier relationships, and a deeper connection with who you truly are.

If you found these insights helpful and would like to explore more about techniques tailored for men’s emotional well-being, consider diving into our upcoming posts on stress reduction and redefining masculinity in a modern world. Together, we’ll continue to transform challenges into empowering opportunities for lasting change.

Taking the step to manage your anger effectively is an investment in your future. Every moment spent understanding your triggers, every breath taken in mindfulness, and every honest conversation held in therapy contributes to building a reservoir of strength. The journey is long and layered, but the transformation is profound—and it all begins with you.

Feel free to reach out for a session or simply to share your progress. Let’s work together towards a future where anger is no longer a destructive force, but a stepping stone to a healthier, more resilient life.

Need help with anger?

If you would like to talk to someone confidentially about managing anger, then I can help.

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Therapy for Men: Empower Your Mental Health

By Kieran

On February 11, 2025

In Anxiety, Confidence, Depression, Self care

Breaking the Stigma: How Therapy for Men Can Help Overcome Mental Health Challenges

Mental health issues don’t discriminate—they can affect anyone, regardless of age, background, or gender. Yet, society often places a unique set of pressures on men that can make it harder to seek help. Indeed, many people still believe that therapy for men still isn’t “a thing”. In this blog post, we’ll explore some common mental health problems that men face and offer practical advice on how to manage them. Additionally, I’ll highlight how AXA and Bupa insurance can help you access free sessions with a counsellor who specialises in therapy for men like me.

Understanding Common Mental Health Issues (these can all be explored in therapy).

Anxiety

Anxiety is more than just feeling stressed or worried. It’s a persistent feeling of fear or dread that can interfere with daily activities. Common symptoms include restlessness, increased heart rate, and difficulty concentrating. Anxiety disorders are among the most common mental health issues, affecting millions of men worldwide.

Depression

Depression is characterised by a prolonged feeling of sadness or a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed. It can also manifest as physical symptoms like fatigue, changes in appetite, and sleep disturbances. Men often experience depression differently than women, and they might be less likely to talk about their feelings, which can lead to a delay in seeking help.

Stress

While stress is a normal response to challenging situations, chronic stress can lead to serious health issues, including heart disease, high blood pressure, and mental health disorders. Men often face unique stressors related to societal expectations, work pressures, and the traditional role of being a provider.

Counselling for men

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Practical Tips for Managing Mental Health

Talk About It

One of the most effective ways to deal with mental health issues is to talk about them. This is really what therapy for men is. But whether it’s with a trusted friend, family member, or a professional counsellor, opening up can provide relief and support. Talking about our problems is therapy for men and women. Men often feel the pressure to be stoic and self-reliant, but discussing mental health openly can break down these barriers and promote healing.

Stay Active

Physical activity is a great way to reduce stress and anxiety. It doesn’t have to be intense; even a daily walk can make a significant difference. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters, and it can also serve as a healthy distraction from negative thoughts. Exercise it therapeutic.

Develop Healthy Habits

Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and limiting alcohol and caffeine can have a positive impact on your mental health. These habits can help stabilise your mood and improve your overall well-being. Remember, small changes can make a big difference. Talking about how your feeling is a healthy habit too.

Seek Professional Help

If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek help from a mental health professional. Counsellors and therapists can provide strategies and support tailored to your specific needs. In many cases, talking to a professional can help you understand the root causes of your issues and develop effective coping mechanisms. I provide therapy for men to address unique challenges related to societal expectations, encourage emotional expression, and reduces isolation. It promotes early intervention and overall wellbeing, helping men navigate their mental health needs more effectively.

“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”
Bruce Lee

Insurers

The Role of Insurance in Mental Health Care
Accessing mental health care can sometimes be a financial burden. However, if you have insurance with providers like AXA or Bupa, you might be eligible for free sessions with a mental health professional, who specialises in therapy for men, such as me. Both insurers offer comprehensive mental health coverage as part of their plans, making it easier for you to get the help you need without worrying about the cost.

AXA

AXA Health offers a range of mental health services, including access to therapists and counsellors. Their plans often cover a set number of therapy sessions, which can be invaluable for those dealing with ongoing mental health issues. AXA also provides online resources and support to help you manage your mental health day-to-day.

Bupa

Bupa’s mental health coverage includes access to a wide network of mental health professionals. Depending on your plan, you could receive several free therapy sessions each year. Bupa also offers mental health assessments and treatment plans tailored to your specific needs. Additionally, they provide resources and tools to help you maintain your mental well-being.

Breaking the Stigma

One of the biggest barriers to seeking help is the stigma associated with mental health issues. Many men feel ashamed or embarrassed to admit they are struggling. But, therapy for men is on the increase. It’s important to remember that mental health problems are common and nothing to be ashamed of. By speaking openly about your experiences, you can help break down the stigma and encourage others to seek help as well. I’m an experienced mental health professional who has offered therapy to men for many years now. I can help.

Building a Support System

Having a strong support system can make a significant difference in managing mental health issues. Surround yourself with people who understand and support you. This could be family, friends, or even support groups. Knowing that you’re not alone and that others care about your well-being can provide immense comfort and strength. A therapist who specialises in therapy for men can be part of your support network too.

Self-Care Strategies

In addition to seeking professional help, practicing self-care is crucial for maintaining good mental health. Here are some self-care strategies to consider:

Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help you stay grounded and reduce stress.

Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide an outlet for your emotions and help you process them.

Hobbies: Engaging in activities you enjoy can provide a sense of fulfillment and distract you from negative thoughts.

Setting Boundaries: Learn to say no and prioritize your well-being. It’s okay to take a step back and focus on yourself.

You can also find free resources, which will help you manage your mental health here.

Take Action Today

If you find yourself struggling with any of these issues, it’s important to remember that help is available and that taking action is a sign of strength. As a professional counsellor, I’m here to offer support and guidance tailored to your needs. Whether you have AXA or Bupa insurance or another provider, we can work together to find the best path forward for you. You can of course, still see me privately.

Contact me today to enquire about my availability and take the first step towards better mental health. You can reach me at 07851512049 or book an appointment here.

Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a step towards taking control of your life. Mental health issues are common and treatable, and you don’t have to face them alone. By leveraging the resources available through AXA and Bupa insurers, you can access the support you need without the financial strain. Take charge of your mental health today and start your journey towards a healthier, happier life.

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Understanding the Impact: The Men’s Mental Health Crisis in Autumn.

By Kieran

On October 23, 2023

In Depression, Suicide

The natural world around us undergoes a remarkable transformation as the vibrant hues of summer give way to the warm, earthy tones of autumn. Leaves fall, temperatures drop, and the days shorten. While many find solace in the cozy atmosphere and the promise of pumpkin-spiced everything, for others, this seasonal shift goes hand in hand with an emotional transition.

For men in the United Kingdom aged between 25 and 35, the onset of autumn can present a unique set of challenges to their mental health. In this comprehensive blog post, we embark on a journey to explore the profound significance of men’s mental health during this distinct season. We’ll then unravel the myriad benefits that counseling offers as an invaluable resource for addressing the autumn blues head-on.

Prioritising Mental Health: A Vital Undertaking

Central to our discourse is the unequivocal importance of placing mental health on the same pedestal as physical well-being. In truth, mental health should always be considered as significant as one’s physical health. However, the issue often arises from the challenge of recognising and acknowledging one’s mental health concerns. Thia ia a challenge that looms prominently, particularly for men.

In this context, it’s crucial to acknowledge how societal expectations and entrenched stereotypes have played a role in perpetuating the notion that men should embody stoicism and unwavering resolve in the face of emotional turmoil. These deeply ingrained beliefs can make it profoundly challenging for men to break free from these constraints. With the knock on effect being they are unable to express their innermost feelings openly, and, most importantly, seek help when needed.

The Seasonal Struggle: Unpacking the Autumnal Impact

Autumn gracefully descends upon us, ushering in shorter days and longer nights, as nature readies itself for the approaching winter. This seasonal shift can cast a shadow over the emotional landscape of many individuals. As feelings of melancholy and fatigue take center stage. This phenomenon is often termed Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and during this season, it emerges as an unwelcome companion for numerous souls.

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It’s worth noting that SAD does not discriminate; it affects people of all genders, ages, and backgrounds. Yet, it’s vital to recognise that men, in particular, may face unique challenges in identifying and addressing its symptoms. The societal expectation for men to remain emotionally steadfast can lead them to dismiss or downplay these feelings. Often attributing them to transient, external factors rather than recognising the internal struggles they may be facing.

In this light, we unveil the intricate connection between the societal expectations placed upon men and their ability to navigate the shifting emotional terrain of autumn. The Autumnal Impact, as we refer to it here, serves as a reminder of the imperative need for open dialogues around men’s mental health, transcending stereotypes and forging paths toward emotional well-being.

The Significance of Counseling for Men During Autumn

Breaking the Stigma: A Crucial Step Towards Well-being

One of the primary reasons counselling holds exceptional significance in the context of men’s mental health is its pivotal role in dismantling the pervasive stigma that surrounds emotional expression and seeking help. Counselling stands as a beacon of hope, offering a safe and confidential sanctuary where men can candidly unravel their thoughts and emotions. Men can be liberated from the shackles of judgment or societal expectations. Within these therapeutic spaces, a transformative environment thrives. One that challenges conventional gender roles and empowers men to wholeheartedly embrace their emotional well-being.

Building an Emotional Toolbox: Equipping for the Season

Autumn, with its inherent beauty, also ushers in a unique set of emotional challenges. It’s during this season that the autumn blues can descend, casting shadows of stress, anxiety, or even depression. Counseling, like a seasoned guide, provides individuals with a treasure trove of invaluable tools, honed through years of therapeutic expertise. These tools, when wielded with care, enable men to navigate the intricate labyrinth of their emotions with grace and resilience. In the midst of the autumnal tempest, these coping strategies become not just beneficial but essential, offering a lifeline in moments of emotional turbulence.

“There is nothing impossible to they who will try.”
Alexander the Great

Preventative Care: Nurturing Mental Well-being

Much like routine visits to a physician for physical check-ups, counseling emerges as a form of preventive care for mental health. Regular counseling sessions serve as vigilant sentinels, discerning and addressing latent concerns before they can evolve into more severe conditions. This proactive approach stands as a testament to your commitment to self-care—a dedication that ensures not just a healthier and happier you during the autumn season but also a more robust emotional well-being that reverberates throughout the entire year.

In essence, the significance of counseling during autumn transcends mere words; it is an embodiment of empowerment, resilience, and self-compassion. It extends a helping hand through the swirling tempest of the autumn blues, enabling men to steer their emotional ship with unwavering confidence. It’s a commitment to self-discovery, a refusal to be bound by stereotypes, and a pledge to embrace emotional well-being unreservedly. Amidst the rustling leaves and changing seasons, counseling emerges as a steadfast companion, offering solace and strength as you navigate the profound landscape of your emotions.

Taking the First Steps: Your Path to Men’s Mental Health in Autumn

For those men in the United Kingdom, aged 25 to 35, who are contemplating seeking counseling to bolster their mental health during the autumn season, embarking on this journey is a commendable act of self-care and resilience. Here, we provide you with practical guidance to initiate this transformative process:

1. Professional Guidance: Navigating with Expertise

Your first step towards embracing counselling is reaching out to a counsellor who specialises in men’s mental health. These seasoned experts possess a deep understanding of the unique challenges men often face when it comes to their emotional well-being. By seeking their guidance, you embark on a journey that is tailored to your specific needs and challenges. Through their expertise, you’ll find a compass to navigate the intricate terrain of your emotions.

2. Seek Recommendations: Trust in Personal Referrals

Don’t underestimate the power of personal recommendations. Trust in the experiences and insights of friends, family, or trusted individuals who have embarked on a similar journey. They can offer valuable referrals to experienced and empathetic counselors skilled in addressing men’s mental health concerns. It’s a testament to the strength of community and the support network that surrounds you.

3. Online Resources: Harnessing the Digital Frontier

In today’s interconnected world, a wealth of mental health resources is at your fingertips. Explore online platforms and resources that not only provide valuable mental health information but also offer options for virtual counselling sessions. This can be particularly advantageous during the autumn season when the inclination to stay indoors prevails. The digital realm extends a convenient avenue for seeking the support you need, irrespective of physical boundaries.

4. Embrace Self-Care: A Holistic Approach

Counselling, while invaluable, is but one facet of your journey towards enhanced mental well-being. In conjunction with seeking professional help, consider the incorporation of self-care practices into your daily routine. Simple habits like regular exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, and engaging in mindfulness activities wield the potential for a profoundly positive impact on your mental health. These practices become your allies as you navigate the intricacies of the autumn blues, fostering a more robust emotional resilience.

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In summation, embarking on the path to men’s mental health during the autumn season is a testament to your commitment to self-discovery, self-compassion, and well-being. It is an investment in a healthier and happier you, not just for this season but for the seasons that follow. By taking these first steps, you not only unlock the potential for personal transformation but also contribute to the broader narrative surrounding men’s mental health—ushering in an era where emotional well-being is celebrated, and stereotypes are replaced with authentic expressions of self.

In Conclusion: Embracing the Seasonal Shift for Holistic Well-being

In summation, let us recognise that autumn transcends being merely a season of change in the natural world; it offers an exquisite opportunity for personal transformation and profound self-reflection. For men aged 25 to 35 residing in the United Kingdom, acknowledging the distinctive mental health challenges that accompany this season is a pivotal stride towards nurturing holistic well-being.

Embracing counselling as an invaluable resource for addressing the autumn blues signifies an act of profound self-compassion, resilience, and unwavering strength. It is not a fleeting choice but a resolute commitment to cultivating a happier, healthier version of oneself. This commitment that extends far beyond the confines of this particular season. By taking this path, you embark on a journey that celebrates emotional well-being, challenges stereotypes, and champions authenticity. A journey where each season becomes an opportunity for growth, transformation, and the unwavering pursuit of a more fulfilling, vibrant life.

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Why Am I An Angry Dad? 5 Anger Triggers And How To Manage Them

By Kieran

On September 11, 2023

In Anger management, Confidence, Self care, Uncategorized

Why am I an angry dad?

It is not uncommon for dads to be angry. In fact, it’s a normal emotion that can happen in any family. But what are the types of anger that fathers experience? And how can they deal with them?

In this article, we will explore 5 triggers of anger that dads might feel and how to manage them.

Trigger 1 – Stress

Similar strategies are used to control stress and anger. One explanation for this is that both stress and anger have a psychological component, making it possible to control them mentally. Understanding the relationship between these two emotions is crucial because they both have the potential to negatively impact us, especially if they are left unmanaged.

There are a number of different things that can affect anger and stress; Long-term stress and anger exposure can harm our physical health. Getting stressed about deadlines, worrying about money or shouting at the kids are but a few examples. It may increase our blood pressure, which can lead to other problems that have an impact on both our physical and emotional well-being. Our interpersonal relationships may suffer as a result. Beyond that, excessive levels of stress and anger can lead to the development of bad behaviours that get harder to manage over time. Anxiety may increase as a result of either of these effects. Being an angry Dad isn’t good for our health or our relationships!

We need to consider how these emotions affect our lives in order to start managing the negative impacts of stress and anger. Anger can result from stress, which might result in further stress. Although neither emotion is a good thing, we shouldn’t try to force them away. Instead, we should work to regulate them by working on our understanding of the elements that influence anger and stress and developing coping mechanisms and build healthy anger management strategies.

Tip to manage stress – Breathe deep and relax

Your body and mind may feel as though they’re operating on overdrive when you are feeling stressed. Slowing your breathing and concentrating on relaxing your muscles is the simplest and most straightforward approach to relieving the stressful effects of anger. Inhale deeply for 4 seconds into your chest and stomach, hold for 2–4 seconds, and then exhale for 4 seconds. Your pulse rate will slow down as a result, and you’ll have some time to gather your thoughts.

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Trigger 2 – Feeling frustrated or powerless

Regardless of a father’s upbringing, those who believe they can control their own destiny—tend to be happier, healthier, and more effective. Even the most difficult situations can be made tolerable if we believe we have some control over the outcome. While minor tensions can become overwhelming if we believe we have no control over the issue at all. Things as simple as the kids not tidying their rooms or indeed, even letting their dad into their room can be incredibly frustrating and can leave a father feeling as though he has no control, even in his own home.

“Powerlessness is inherently threatening, and it prompts a strong desire to reduce or eliminate that feeling,” says Eric Anicich, an assistant professor of management and organisation at the University of Southern California Marshall School of Business.

Tip to manage feelings of frustration or powerlessness – reconsider our approach to the problem

The first thing to do is recognise our own biases in the way we appraise our circumstances. Humans are usually quite bad at anticipating their future emotions and feelings. Positive life experiences, like winning the lottery, cause us to overestimate how happy we will feel and how long that feeling will last. Conversely, we find it difficult to envision how we will get past a threat or disappointment, such as our daughter going out to a nightclub for the first time. Negative experiences don’t usually last as long or have the same intensity as people expect. By keeping that in mind the initial sensation of pessimism we frequently experience upon hearing bad news can be lessened by just reminding ourselves of that truth.

Practically speaking, we can regain control of the situation by finding smaller ways to help with the situation. Setting your own schedules and making the most of your space may help you restore some sense of autonomy if you have been forced to work from home, for example.

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
Theodore Roosevelt.

Trigger 3 – Feeling a lack of respect

The feeling of being disrespected can be something that is quite triggering for many dad’s and can often make them feel quite angry. This could indeed be the reason why you ask yourself why am I an angry dad. In fact, most people have very little tolerance for being disrespected and those who consistently feel as though others have little or no respect for them often suffer with poor self-esteem and have a poor self image.

If you feel this way, it could be worth asking yourself “what does it mean to be disrespected”? You’ll probably find that your answer is different for example, to the dad sitting next to you. What you feel is disrespectful, may not feel disrespectful to someone else. For example, you may feel that it’s disrespectful of your son not to thank you for buying him an ice cream but another dad might be fine with it. That other dad may feel it’s disrespectful for their daughter to go to bed without saying “good night” but it might not bother you at all.

Being disrespected is a subjective feeling and will differ from person to person, from dad to dad. As it’s a personal feeling and differs depending on your own values, there’s a possibility that it’s the way you think that is causing the feelings of disrespect, rather than someone, a child perhaps or a partner, being disrespectful. If you think about it, what motivation does someone have to disrespect you personally? Would one of your children, for example, really set out to hurt you? Are they even old enough to be capable of doing that to you? Disrespect can often be born out of anger, fear or frustration or all of those emotions.

Tip to manage feeling a lack of respect

If you find yourself immediately feeling disrespected when someone doesn’t behave as you’d expect them to, you may be assuming the worst and jumping to conclusions. Challenge yourself to think of why a person may have behaved the way they did. For example, if someone pulled out on you in traffic, are they really being disrespectful to you personally or could it be that they’re late for work? Could they be preoccupied with some bad news about an elderly relative and didn’t realise they hadn’t considered you? Below are some things you can ask yourself when you are feeling disrespected that will make you feel better and help you with wondering why you’re an angry dad.

Will whatever it is that has made me feel disrespected matter to me in 12 months or even a few day’s?
Am I responding appropriately? Or am I responding with anger and frustration. Should I try addressing the issue calmly and assertively?
Am I communicating my expectations clearly? Ensure that your children understand your expectations for respect and behaviour.

Trigger 4 – Lack of sleep

A lack of sleep can significantly contribute to feelings of being disrespected by your children. Sleep deprivation often leads to irritability and a shorter fuse. This can make even minor misbehaviors or disagreements with your children escalate into major sources of frustration and perceived disrespect.

Exhaustion also diminishes your ability to empathise with your children’s needs and emotions. This may cause you to interpret their actions as intentional disobedience or disrespect when they may simply be expressing their own needs or frustrations.

Furthermore, sleep-deprived dad’s may struggle to make rational decisions and react impulsively to perceived challenges. This can lead to misinterpretations of your children’s behaviour and heightened feelings of being disrespected. This emotional vulnerability means that your children’s actions, even if not intended to be disrespectful, can feel hurtful or offensive, further intensifying these feelings.

Tip to manage a lack of sleep

To address the negative impact of sleep deprivation on your perception of respect from your children, consider implementing these strategies:

Prioritize Sleep: Make sleep a priority by establishing a regular sleep schedule. Ensure you get enough hours of quality rest to enhance your emotional stability and patience.
Share Responsibilities: Enlist the help of your partner or support network to share nighttime parenting duties. This allows for breaks and uninterrupted sleep, reducing sleep-related irritability.
Mindfulness and Relaxation: Practice mindfulness techniques or relaxation exercises to manage stress and enhance your emotional resilience. Breathing exercises and meditation can help you stay calm in challenging parenting situations.
Communication: Openly communicate with your children about your need for sleep. Explain that when you’re well-rested, you can be a more patient and understanding parent.
Seek Professional Help: If sleep deprivation persists and significantly affects your ability to parent effectively, consult a healthcare professional. They can assess and address any underlying sleep disorders or recommend strategies to improve your sleep quality.

By prioritising sleep and adopting effective coping mechanisms, you can better manage feelings of disrespect from your children that may arise due to sleep-related irritability and stress. Ultimately, fostering a well-rested and emotionally stable environment benefits both you and your family.

Trigger 5 – Communication issues

Communication problems can make you an angry dad by creating frustration and misunderstanding. When parents and children struggle to express their needs, emotions, or expectations effectively, it often leads to conflicts, misinterpretations, and heightened anger. Inadequate communication can make a dad feel unheard or disrespected, triggering anger in response to perceived disrespect or disobedience.

Tip to manage communication issues

To address communication issues and mitigate anger, active listening is essential. Encourage open dialogue with your children, offering them a safe space to express themselves without fear of judgment. Teach them effective communication skills and actively listen to their concerns.

Model respectful communication, and when conflicts arise, seek resolution through calm discussions, empathy, and compromise. A therapist like myself can help you develop valuable tools for improving communication and reducing anger within the family dynamic.

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”
Aristotle

In conclusion, understanding the factors that contribute to being an angry dad is the first step in becoming a more patient and understanding parent. From the pressures of life to miscommunications and unresolved personal issues, anger can easily find its way into our interactions with our children. However, it’s important to remember that anger doesn’t have to be the default response.

In this blog post, we’ve explored five solutions to address and manage anger as a parent:

Prioritizing self-care and managing stress to maintain emotional balance.
Setting realistic expectations for yourself and your children.
Improving communication through active listening and empathy.
Seeking professional help when unresolved personal issues contribute to anger.
Modeling healthy emotional expression and conflict resolution for your children.

By implementing these solutions, you can create a more harmonious and nurturing environment for your family. This will foster a deeper connection with your children and reduce anger’s impact on your role as a dad. Remember, parenting is a journey of growth. With the right tools and mindset, you can navigate it with patience, empathy, and love.

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What Are Anger Management Issues? Everything You Need To Know

By Kieran

On August 30, 2022

In Anger management

What are anger management issues?

It’s normal to feel angry from time to time. Anger is a human emotion that helps us to cope with difficult situations and can be motivating in some cases. But when anger is out of control, it can lead to negative consequences. But what are anger management issues?

‘Anger issues’ is one of the most common problems clients come to me wanting help with, in fact, it is probably the most common. A report on anger; ‘Boiling Point’ produced by the Mental Health Foundation (MHF) back in 2008, found that (of the 2000 people surveyed):

32% of people say they have a close friend or family member who has trouble controlling their anger.
12% have trouble controlling their own anger.
28% worry about how angry they sometimes feel.
1 in 5 people have ended a relationship or a friendship because of how they behaved when they were angry.
64% agree that people are getting angrier.

If you’re struggling to manage your anger, here are 7 tips that may help you control your anger:

1. Understand your triggers.

Triggers are the external and internal stimuli that cues an individual to do something such as take drugs or get angry, for example. Common triggers include people, places, things, and emotions. A trigger is anything that sets off a stress response in your body. When trying to manage your anger, it is important to be aware of your triggers and have a plan for how to deal with them.

And there are two types of triggers:

External triggers are people, places, things, and events that cue you to get angry, for example.

Internal triggers are thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations that cue you to struggle to maintain control of your anger.

“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston S. Churchill

External triggers are usually easier to avoid than internal triggers. However, both types of triggers can be effectively managed with the right tools and support and can help you with anger management issues.

If you are trying to learn to manage your anger, it is important to be aware of your triggers and have a plan for how to deal with them. Everyone has different triggers, so it’s important to take some time to identify what yours are. Once you know what your triggers are, you can start to find ways to avoid or manage them.

There are a few different ways to identify your anger triggers. One way is to keep an anger diary. For a week or two, write down every time you feel angry. Include what was happening at the time, how you felt physically and emotionally, and what you did to manage the anger. After a few weeks, you should start to see patterns emerge and gain a better understanding of your anger management issues. You can discuss your findings about your anger with a counsellor too.

Another way to identify your triggers is to pay attention to your body. When you feel yourself starting to get angry, take a few minutes to notice what you’re feeling. You’ll probably find you’ll be experiencing some of these sensations:

Knots in your stomach
Clenching your fists or jaw
Feeling clammy or flushed
Breathing faster
Headaches

Pacing or walking quicker
“Seeing red”
Difficulty concentrating
Heart beating fast or pounding
Tensing your shoulders

2. Communicate assertively, not aggressively.

When communicating with others, it is important to be assertive, not aggressive. Assertiveness means being clear and direct in your communication, without being rude or confrontational, or getting angry. It is the ability to express your ideas and needs in a way that is respectful of others.

Aggressive communication, on the other hand, is characterised by intimidation, put-downs, and threats. It is important to avoid aggressive communication, as it is likely to escalate the situation and lead to conflict.

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If you find yourself in a situation where you need to communicate assertively, remember to:

Be clear and concise in your communication
Listen to the other person’s point of view
Respect the other person’s boundaries
Avoid insulting or demeaning the other person
Speak calmly and confidently

3. Use “I” statements to help with anger management issues.

Beginning a phrase with “I” enables us to discuss tough emotions, explain how the issue is impacting you and avoids placing blame on others and getting angry with them. It makes us accountable for our own thoughts and emotions. This tends to be perceived by others as less antagonistic, allowing for further discussion and the chance of a solution. For example, saying “I feel angry” is less confrontational and likely to elicit a more positive response than “You make me angry”.

In the end, I statements can present a problem as something that needs to be discussed and resolved with your partner, for example, rather than as a criticism of them or a personal assault.

It takes time, effort, and repetition to effectively model a new communication style. Try the following practice exercise to help you develop new habits around how you communicate with others if you find it difficult to remember to use “I” statements in real-time when you’re in the middle of a disagreement or heated discussion:

Talk for three to five minutes about a subject you truly enjoy, beginning each phrase with an “I” declaration. You can try this out in front of the mirror or with a friend, partner, or member of your family.

“Goal setting is the secret to a compelling future.” — Tony Robbins

4. Be aware of your body language.

Did you know that before you verbally express your anger, your body language frequently does the same? It’s as much what you say as what you do which may make people believe you have anger management issues

You may already be aware of this, but many people frequently fail to do so. For this reason, it is crucial to understand non-verbal communication and how it might impact your relationships.

How often have you cut someone off in conversation because they were making you angry?

Numerous times, I’m sure, as this is a typical example of nonverbal communication.

Other non-verbal forms of communication include:

The duration of your eye contact with someone
Your actions
The way you stand or sit
How close you stand next to someone
The loudness of your voice.

Have you ever been accused of giving someone conflicting signals?

When this happens, your words and actions may not always seem to add up.

The person on the other end feels confused and uncertain about your feelings as a result. Additionally, since you never mean what you say, this may cause people to lose faith in you.

If you have a tendency to get angry, you might frequently make pointed gestures, raise your voice, and choose to sit alone.

This type of behaviour will simply make others around you feel uncomfortable.

“He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.” — Confucius

It would be better if you first understood how to improve your actions in order to lessen your non-verbal communication. To do this, practice speaking in a quieter voice, move closer to your companion and maintain eye contact.

Try not to wave your arms around or use your hands to communicate while you learn to manage your movements. Many people engage in this without even being aware of it.

Consider practising in front of a mirror. This will help you to see how you look when you’re angry. Flailing your arms, for example, may come across as confrontational, and being aware of it will help you to stop doing it.

With a little practise, each of these things can be worked on. Once you get this under control, you won’t always come across as being angry.

You might even notice that your own level of anger decreases. Amazingly, just knowing that others view you in this way can make you calmer!

Remember that you can express your anger with your body language as well as words. In the end, working on your body language will make you feel less inclined to express your rage out loud.

5. Take a timeout.

Most people are unaware of when and how to exit a heated discussion without adding insult to injury.

Instead, they prolong the conflict, which increases the risk of verbal or physical violence and both parties getting angrier and angrier. This often results in name-calling, arguing and excessive blame.

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You can keep yourself and your loved ones safe when you know when and how to leave a situation.

It is known as a time-out.

The majority of us have used it with our children, but adults also benefit greatly from it! It gives you a justification to leave the situation so you may calm down.

People can be kept safe by timeouts. Leaving the situation by itself won’t make a difference; it’s how you leave that counts. The steps for a successful time-out are listed below.

How to Take a Timeout
Know when you are starting to feel angry. Rapid heartbeat, sweating, feeling tense, irritated, or confused are a few signs that you’re getting angry, as are thinking negatively and placing blame on others.

Keep an eye out for your triggers. Make a list of the circumstances that make you angry. Common triggers include feeling unheard or judged. Try to be objective in this situation.

To deal with the upset, make a plan. Determine what you need. Does phoning a friend or going for a walk help? Would writing in a notebook be more relaxing than listening to music?

The most efficient way to use the time-out is to separate yourself. The argument will probably continue if you stay in the same room as the other person.

“Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” — Henry Ford

Before utilising the time-out, go over it with your partner. Talk about how you’ll manage the time-out. For example, you could say something like “I’ll go for a walk if I start to feel angry. I’ll be back in a half-hour.” If trust has been betrayed, your partner can may act defensive. Avoid being defensive too. Validate their viewpoint instead. Even if you don’t agree, it is very effective to demonstrate that you understand why they’re angry or upset.

Plan out your break. Identify a safe location and take no more than 20 to 30 minutes (to prevent it from turning into leisure time). If you can, go out of the house to stop the argument from escalating.

Time-outs are an effective approach to vent your feelings and normalise anger so that you don’t lose control and explode.

Even though it’s common to get angry, if you can recognise it early on, you’ll have a better chance of controlling your anger management issues so that you and everyone else around you stay safe.

6. Practice relaxation techniques to combat anger management issues.

Below are a couple of really helpful relaxation techniques that will help you control your anger issues. In order for these strategies to have any chance of having a beneficial impact on your life, you must be dedicated to actually using and practising them. If you simply use them occasionally, you won’t see the benefit of them

Controlled deep breathing for anger issues

When you feel emotionally aroused, your breathing and pulse rate both quicken. By consciously slowing your breathing and/or relaxing your stiff muscles, you can learn to stop these rises. By relaxing in this way, you can keep your emotions under control.

When you are agitated, you may notice that your breathing becomes hurried and shallow. Your anger will only grow if you continue to breathe shallowly, only from your chest. Instead, take steps to slow your breathing down and to unwind your muscles in order to calm down. Give yourself at least 15 minutes to complete this exercise. Less time than this is probably not going to be helpful!

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.” – Muhammad Ali

Start by taking several calm, deep breaths in succession, making sure to exhale for twice as long as you inhale with each breath.
Count slowly to four as you breathe in, and then breathe out slowly as you count to eight.
Be mindful of the air filling your lungs while you do this. Breathe deeply and completely through your open lungs.
Breath should enter your abdomen, chest, and upper chest right below your shoulders in that order.
As your lungs grow, feel your ribs enlarge as well.
Pay attention to how your ribs reposition themselves as you totally exhale.
If you ever feel dizzy or out of breath, stop the exercise.

What Are Anger Management Issues? Everything You Need To Know

Progressive Muscle Relaxation for dealing with anger

Follow the steps below to help alleviate your anger issues.

The stressed muscles should be tensed and tightened slowly before being released. If you experience any pain, be careful to release your clenched muscles right away and stop the exercise.
While inhaling, contract a muscle group, your calves, for example, for between 5 and 10 seconds. Then exhale and release the tension in the muscle group. Relax for between 10 and 20 seconds and then do the same for the next muscle group. For example, tense your calves and release them and then move on to your thighs.
You can move down your entire body in a few minutes with a little practise. Your ability to relax can occasionally be improved by first tensing and then relaxing your muscles.

You should give yourself a total of 20 to 30 minutes to relax. Throughout this period, maintain very regular, deep breathing. You will soon feel considerably calmer if you tell yourself that you are calming yourself down. Trying to imagine your muscles relaxing can be helpful too.

Relaxation methods like those mentioned above can aid in your relaxation and, as a bonus, aid in your ability to shift your attention away from being angry. Additionally, they allow you time to reflect on the upsetting event, which will enable you to come up with original answers to the issues you are now facing.

7. Speak to a professional about your anger management issues.

Talking therapy and counselling entail discussing your issues with a qualified professional (such a counsellor or psychotherapist, like me) who can assist you in examining the reasons behind your anger and developing coping mechanisms. This can assist you in processing your emotions and enhancing how you react in heated situations.

There are numerous varieties of talking therapies, some of which are especially suited to anger management problems. Here are two ways that I can help you with your anger management issues.

Counselling is typically a brief form of therapy where you can discuss a particular problem, such having angry outbursts or struggling to manage anger, and try to understand how you might handle those situations differently.
In comparison to counselling, psychotherapy frequently lasts longer and tends to delve deeper into the past. Here, you might put more of an emphasis on self-discovery to better understand why you react in particular ways to situations or how you express your anger. For example, we might look at how your parents expressed anger or managed their anger and if there’s any habits that you’ve developed as a result of a learnt behaviour from them.

Getting assistance if your anger management issue is causing you to act violently or abusively can be life changing for both you, your family and the other people around you. Even though you might be concerned that asking for help might make you look “weak”, it’s frequently the crucial first step in changing your behaviour. As an experienced counsellor and psychotherapist, I can help you with your anger management issues and help give you back the control in your life. Contact me today for more information and to book an appointment.

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8 Questions You Might Be Afraid to Ask About Depression

By Kieran

On August 12, 2022

In Depression, Uncategorized

Introduction

Depression and anxiety can be really scary. Even though mental illnesses are common, they’re still stigmatised. That makes people who are suffering from these conditions even more reluctant to seek help because they fear being judged or misunderstood.

It’s important to remember that you’re not alone: Millions of people struggle with depression and anxiety each year, but many don’t seek treatment for a variety of reasons. That’s why I’ve put together this list of questions you might be afraid to ask about your own depression—from how long it lasts to whether it affects your sex life!

1# Is depression a real illness?

Depression is a real illness. It’s not something you should be ashamed of, and it’s not something that means you’re weak or a failure. Depression is treatable, and there are plenty of people who have gotten through depression and come out on the other side stronger than before.

Some people believe that depression isn’t an actual illness because there isn’t any proof that it affects the biological makeup of the brain physically like other conditions do—but we know more now than ever before about how complex our brains are, how they work together with other organs in our bodies to keep us alive every day without even thinking about it until something goes wrong somewhere along this system (like when someone becomes depressed).

Success is falling 9 times and getting up 10 – Jon Bon Jovi

#2 How long does depression last?

You may have heard that depression is a lifelong condition and will never go away. While this is true for some people, it’s not true for everyone: depression can last weeks, months or even years. You might also be wondering how long you’ll need to take to see a counsellor before feeling better. The truth is that there’s no way to predict how long it will take you to recover from depression—it depends on many factors, including what caused your symptoms in the first place (if we knew that, we could prevent it!)

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If left untreated for too long without support from a professional as well as friends, family and loved ones then symptoms may worsen into something more serious such as suicidal thoughts.

Depression may come back but sometimes the symptoms are milder than they were at first, which means that we can help manage them through lifestyle changes and counselling sessions. But if you don’t learn how to cope with stressors, then this problem might reoccur in new ways.

You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think – A.A Milne

#3 Does having depression make me crazy?

You might have heard that depression is a sign of weakness or an indication that you’re crazy. The truth is much simpler: Depression is a real illness, and it’s not your fault. It’s not about being weak or crazy, but rather about having an imbalance of brain chemicals — specifically serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine — that can cause changes in your mood, sleeping patterns and energy levels.

When you have depression, you might feel like you’re constantly running on empty with no hope for relief in sight. But there are many ways to manage symptoms of depression so you can get back to living life again without feeling this way every day

While it may seem intimidating at first, don’t be afraid to ask questions about depression. It’s important to get a full picture of what causes this illness so you can make an informed decision on how best to treat it.

If you’d like to talk to me about depression, then please feel free to get in touch.

#4 What’s the difference between grief and depression?

Depression is not the same as grieving. Depression is a medical condition, whereas grief is a normal response to loss. Grieving involves processing your feelings through talking about them with others, such as a counsellor and doing things like writing in a journal, which helps you move on with your life. If you’re experiencing symptoms of depression, it’s important that you speak to a professional about getting treatment—medication or therapy—to manage those symptoms.

Depression can last for days or weeks at a time, but usually less than six months; if it lasts longer than that, it could be indicative of clinical depression.

Remember that grief is a healthy process, while depression is not. If you’re experiencing symptoms of depression, it’s important that you speak to a professional about getting treatment. I can help you to process your grief or help you to work through your depression.

If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it, then I can achieve it – Muhammad Ali

#5 Can I get depression again if I’ve had it before?

It’s normal to worry that depression will come back. After all, you’ve been through it before and it was hard. You’re not sure how you’ll handle it if it happens again.

Depression is a chronic illness, which means that it can be recurring. It may come back at any point in your life—and even after you’ve had years of feeling stable and happy—but there are things you can do to make sure that if depression hits again, you’ll know how to handle it better than last time!

If depression does come back, it’s important to remember that it isn’t your fault.

Depression is not a sign of weakness or laziness. It’s not something you can just “get over” with a little effort—depression is an illness that needs treatment from professionals, such as a counsellor like me, who understand the disease and how best to help people with it. If depression comes back again later in life, it can still be treated.

#6 If my family has a history of mental illness, am I likely to develop a mental illness too?

This question is one of the most common. It’s important to know that depression can be passed down from parent to child, or it can occur as a result of environmental factors. The National Institute of Mental Health (the leading agency for mental health research in the United States) states: “Genetics does not determine whether someone develops depression.” Instead, genetics likely play a role in how patients respond to life events and stressors.

If you’re afraid to ask yourself whether or not your family has a history of mental illness, don’t be. There are many factors that can play into whether or not you develop depression. If there is any cause for concern in your family, talk to a doctor or a mental health professional like me, about what steps you might take now to prevent mental illness later on.

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new – Albert Einstein

Are you worried about your mental health?

Contact me now to arrange a safe and confidential space to talk through your concerns with a professional counsellor.

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#7 Can a lack of sleep cause depression?

Does lack of sleep cause depression? Yes, it certainly can. Lack of sleep can lead to anxiety, stress and irritability which are all triggers for depression. When you’re not getting the right amount of sleep, your body doesn’t have enough time to repair itself from the day before. This means that any physical or mental issues you might have — like stress-related heart problems or mental exhaustion — will come back even stronger on top of each other.

Long-term lack of sleep can cause poor concentration, fatigue and even depression. If you’re dealing with these symptoms then it’s worth looking into how much sleep you’ve been getting recently because it may be affecting your mental health more than you think.

Some people want it to happen, some wish it could happen, others make it happen – Michael Jordan

#8 Can medication help with depression, and if so, why should I try counselling first (or at all)?

Medications for depression (along with medication for anxiety) are among the most prescribed drugs in the world, with over 6 million people in the UK alone, taking anti-depressants. Many people see ‘anti-depressants’ as a ‘magic bullet’ to their mental illness and while this isn’t always the case, many people see quick improvements in their mental health, particularly in the short term. However, many anti-depressants have adverse side effects such as;

feeling agitated, shaky or anxious.
feeling and being sick.
indigestion and stomach aches.
diarrhoea or constipation.
loss of appetite.
dizziness.
not sleeping well (insomnia), or feeling very sleepy.
headaches.

the list above is not exhaustive!

There is nothing impossible to him who will try – Alexander the Great

It’s also worth bearing in mind that anti-depressants are often prescribed on a ‘trial and error’ basis, where the drug will be changed to another type if the patient isn’t getting the intended relief.

When it comes to talking therapy such as counselling, the results have proven to be longer-lasting than with medications.

Counselling can help you to identify what is triggering your depression and help you to develop coping strategies. Moreover, by seeking counselling for depression, you have an opportunity to learn what triggers your reactions to specific things such as fears, places or certain situations. By working with a counsellor for depression, you can develop lifelong techniques to battle your depression.

I hope by answering these questions about depression, it’s given you a clearer understanding of what depression is. If you think you have depression and you’d like to speak to a counsellor, then please do get in touch. You can also take a look at one of my other blog post ‘4 answers to your questions about depression‘.

Need help with anger?

If you would like to talk to someone confidentially about managing anger, then I can help.

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Return to work triggers anxiety amongst office workers

By Kieran

On November 11, 2021

In Anxiety

I am seeing and hearing more examples of people with anxiety about returning to the office. I think this is to be expected after so many people have been working so long from home. For many, having been away from the workplace for over a year, the concern is about what the new social norms are. Doubt and uncertainty drives anxiety and the brain gets spooked by this (as it does by ambiguity generally). Some people can self-manage successfully their anxiety symptoms, others may need some professional counselling help.

If you feel anxious and you work in Cornwall, then the good news is that you will not be alone. Your reaction about going back to the office is both predictable and understandable. There will be many others like you. Just because not everybody is prepared to admit it publicly, doesn’t mean anxiety is not an issue for many.

How to tackle feelings of unease about going back to the office

One of the most effective ways to deal with unease is to confront it and give a name(s) to what the sense of unease is. The process of naming shifts the brain’s patterns away from anxiety to problem solving – a distraction. This is something you can try yourself, without anyone knowing, and sense whether it is having a calming effect or not. If the effect is positive, repeat the exercise and start to build social resilience.

If your anxiety is more acute and the exercise is not making any difference, then you might consider further professional help.

Return to a place of work is an inevitability and thousands of workers in towns across Cornwall will be adjusting to a working pattern that is familiar on one hand, and different on the other. Remember that office social anxiety is a totally natural feeling, having spent so long away. Especially if you are someone who has enjoyed your own company working from home.

A reminder of some quick tips for coping with anxiety:

Create space in your mind and in your day to rationalise any fears.
To aid a sense of calm, try a meditation exercise that you can do quietly during a break or at lunch.
At a point of anxiety write down how you feel. This has the effect of distracting the brain from what is causing your sense of unease.
If self-help is proving ineffective, do not blame yourself. You might need some assistance from a professional (who will be happy to help).

Are you anxious about returning to the office?

As an experienced counsellor in Camborne and working across the county, I am able to help you work through any anxieties about returning to your office or place of work. Call me on 07851512049 and let’s work together on making the work place somewhere that you can get ready to go back to.

Depression: 4 Answers to Your Questions About Depression

By Kieran

On May 25, 2021

In Anger management, Depression, Self care

Introduction

As a counsellor who works with men who come to me for help with all kinds of issues, depression is an issue that seems to trouble a lot of men, whether they are young men looking for help with depression or older men who want to see a counsellor who can help with depression, I find that many people have questions like; what is depression? What are the signs of depression? Is depression genetic as well as many more questions around depression.

When I decided to write a post about depression, I noticed that there was a lot of information out there about depression but there didn’t seem to be as much information specifically for men. I think it’s important to write about depression in men simply because men are less likely to ask for help with their mental health than women are.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts – Winston Churchill

With that in mind and the surge in the number of people suffering from depression in the UK, I thought I would write a post sharing the 4 most common questions I’m asked by men about depression, which I hope will answer some of your own questions about depression and give you a better understanding of what depression is and why it affects so many people.

In this post I will answer:

What is depression?
What are the symptoms of depression?
common symptoms of depression
symptoms common to men

What causes depression?
What helps with depression?

What is depression?

Depression, also referred to as Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and Clinical Depression, is a Common Mental Health Problem (CMHP), with 4 – 10% of people in England, experiencing depression in their lifetime. Depression can be described as a feeling of persistent and enduring sadness or hopelessness.

People suffering from depression often lose the desire to participate in activities they once enjoyed and many feel a sense of shame “for being lazy” as a result.

Counselling for men

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Depression has a link to genetics but just because Mum or Dad suffered from depression, that does not mean you will too. Depression has been found to be linked to many things besides genetics such as trauma and significant life events; losing your job, for example.

What are the symptoms of depression?

First of all, the symptoms of depression in men, tend to be slightly different to the signs of depression in women. As I’m sure most men reading this blog post will identify, some men (and not all) tend to be less willing to share their feelings with others as well as to themselves and will often hide them. While men will show common signs of depression, there are a few other symptoms to look out for too.

Common symptoms:

Feeling helpless or hopeless – “there’s no point in anything anymore”.
A loss of interest in usual activities – this can include anything from personal grooming to going to the shops. A lack of motivation to do even the most “basic things”.
Changes to your patterns of sleep – this could include trouble getting to sleep, waking early, or oversleeping. This includes insomnia.

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Low or a loss of energy – feeling sluggish and fatigued with small and simple tasks taking a lot of energy to perform.
Loss of concentration – difficulty focusing on simple tasks, forgetfulness and trouble with decision making.

Changes to appetite and weight – you might find that you lose your appetite or start eating more. This will likely have a knock-on effect on your weight.
Self-criticism – calling yourself “stupid” or an “idiot”, for example. This can be damaging to your self-esteem.

And symptoms of depression that are common in men

Aches and pains – such as headaches, backache, stomach pain and aching muscles.
Reckless behaviour – substance abuse, gambling, drinking are more prevalent in men.
And of course; anger – this could be irritability, sensitivity to criticism, quick temper, road rage or physical violence.

What causes depression?

Unfortunately, there’s no one single cause of depression; losing your job, splitting up with your partner, having a serious illness, being involved in a traumatic event such as a car accident or losing a loved one can all “trigger” depression and in many cases, it’s a combination of things.

For example, the loss of a loved one might leave you feeling upset and down but combined with the ending of a relationship with a partner may leave you feeling as though there’s nobody who cares for you anymore. Stressful events increase the likelihood of suffering from depression.

As mentioned earlier, just because a member of your family suffered from depression, it doesn’t automatically mean you will to. There is, however, a link between depression and genetics but there is more than one factor at play, much like in the example above, meaning that depression isn’t simply caused by one single thing. Your environment, your social surroundings and your own experiences in life will all play a part in how resilient you are to depression.

Another big cause of depression and particularly for men; is drugs and alcohol. “Drowning your sorrows” may seem like a good idea but it can increase the risk of depression. Much like Cannabis, for example. While I’ve heard many men say “it helps me relax”, Cannabis can induce depression, particularly in teenagers.

Reality Check

You feel hopeless and helpless
You’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy and have cut off from friends.
You’re easily irritated, bad tempered and aggressive.
You’re drinking a lot, have become reckless and have begun self-medicating.
You feel agitated and restless.
Your sleep pattern and your appetite have changed.
You have poor concentration and find it difficult to be productive.
You have negative thoughts that are difficult to control.

Illness, particularly for people with a long-term illness or perhaps a life-threatening illness, such as cancer or heart disease, has a greater risk of suffering from depression.

Something that seems to be under recognised in depression is the impact of head injuries. Not only can the trauma of the injury induce low mood but in severe cases, head injuries can exacerbate emotional problems and trigger mood swings.

Hypothyroidism or an underactive thyroid as it’s commonly referred to can itself lead to extreme tiredness or a loss of interest in sex, which can exacerbate and induce depression.

“Suffering has been stronger than all other teachings and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” – Charles Dickens

What helps with depression?

There are several things you can do that will help with depression. Depression is manageable.

Keep in touch

When we feel depressed, we have a tendency to withdraw and isolate but socialising can have a positive impact on your mood. I know keeping in touch with friends and family can be tough at the moment but if you feel depressed, picking up the phone and talking to a friend and family can really help.

Try to build a positive habit of calling/chatting on a regular basis. It doesn’t have to be the same person; what’s important is that you keep connected to others. Remember, they’re probably feeling lonely too and will probably welcome somebody “just saying hi” and thinking of them.

Stay active

Again, it’s tough to get the exercise we need at the best of times but it’s even harder when we’ve been through a period when we’re only allowed to leave our homes once a day for exercise. The most exercise most of us have had over the last 12 months is lifting the shopping into the back of the car! But, exercise is incredibly important for your mental health and will help with depression. Just like keeping in touch, you might not feel like doing it but when you start to get into the habit of exercising, it will pay dividends.

Start small. Getting into a pattern of going for a 20-minute walk will give you the confidence you need to then build up to a 20-minute job perhaps and so on and so forth. Your self-esteem will improve and along with it, your mood.

Stop procrastinating

If you go back to the symptoms of depression above, you’ll notice a lot of similarities with procrastination. If your energy is low or you think “what’s the point” or “I can’t be bothered”, then you’re more likely to procrastinate. The feeling of guilt when we put something off can linger in the subconscious and make us feel down and ashamed that we haven’t done what needs to be done. A classic example is putting off opening the post.

Will power alone might not be enough, so set yourself some short-term, manageable goals to help you get out of the depressive slump. For example, if you feel as though you need to exercise more but don’t have the energy to get started, break it down. Perhaps you haven’t got the energy to go for a run but could you go for a walk around the block? You might not want to hit the gym but maybe you could do 10 press-ups and 10 sit-ups? Once you start achieving goals, it will get easier. Take a look at my previous post (follow the link above) to help you get started.

“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone”
― Pablo Picasso

Sleep is important

Your sleep and your mood are very closely linked and depression can often be exacerbated by a lack of sleep or what is known as “poor sleep hygiene“.

To help improve your sleep hygiene and combat depression, try to limit the use of electronic devices before bedtime, ideally, not using them an hour before you go to sleep. If you like to read a book to help you wind down before you go to sleep, try to use a dim light.

“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” — Benjamin Franklin

I know it’s difficult with many people spending more time at home these days and many more people working from home but try to use your bedroom for nothing more than sleeping and sexual activity.

If you use your bedroom as a workspace, there’s a possibility you’ll subconsciously link the stress of work with your bedroom, making relaxing and ultimately both falling asleep and having good quality sleep, much more difficult.

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. –Michael Jordan

A balanced diet

A poorly balanced diet can leave you feeling sluggish and lack motivation; both of which are symptoms of depression. Consistently eating and consuming sugary food and drinks is going to cause weight gain and a loss of self-esteem; again, these are factors that contribute to depression.

If you eat a balanced diet your mood will improve, you’ll have a better threshold for concentration, you’ll be physically fitter and ultimately, your chances of suffering from depression will be reduced. Here is a handy factsheet that you can download and keep, from the British Association of UK Dieticians.

I hope some of the information here gives you a clearer idea of what depression is, how depression affects men and how you can tackle depression.

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Author: Kieran Page 1 of 2

Understanding Anger and Its Role

Counselling for men

The Cultural Landscape of Male Anger

Rewriting the Narrative

Recognising Your Anger Triggers

A Quick Glance At Controlling Anger

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A Personal Turning Point: My Journey to Regaining Control

Top Strategies for Lasting Calm and better Anger Management

1. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

2. Engage in Physical Activity

3. Enhance Communication Skills

4. Challenge Negative Thought Patterns

5. Seek Professional Support

The Role of Daily Habits in Anger Management

Overcoming Barriers Specific to Men

Embracing Vulnerability

Counselling for men

Building a Support System

Redefining Masculinity

Creating Your Personalised Action Plan to tackle Anger

Embracing a Future of Lasting Calm

Final Thoughts on Anger Management for Men Coping Strategies.

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Understanding Anger: Beyond Fury to a Valuable Messenger

Digging Deeper: The Roots and Triggers of Anger (and why anger management for men is so important)

Counselling for men

Effective Strategies for Mastering Your Anger (anger management for men)

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Integrating Calmer Habits into a Balanced Lifestyle

The Transformative Role of Professional Counselling

Do you need help with anger?

Crafting a Personal Action Plan

Beyond the Basics: Exploring Complementary Avenues

Conclusion

Need help with anger?

Understanding Common Mental Health Issues (these can all be explored in therapy).

Anxiety

Depression

Stress

Counselling for men

Practical Tips for Managing Mental Health

Talk About It

Stay Active

Develop Healthy Habits

Seek Professional Help

Insurers

AXA

Bupa

Breaking the Stigma

Building a Support System

Self-Care Strategies

Take Action Today

Counselling for men

Prioritising Mental Health: A Vital Undertaking

Counselling for men

Counselling for men

Need help with anger?

Why am I an angry dad?

Trigger 1 – Stress

Tip to manage stress – Breathe deep and relax

Counselling for men

Trigger 2 – Feeling frustrated or powerless

Tip to manage feelings of frustration or powerlessness – reconsider our approach to the problem

Trigger 3 – Feeling a lack of respect

Tip to manage feeling a lack of respect

Trigger 4 – Lack of sleep

Tip to manage a lack of sleep

Trigger 5 – Communication issues

Tip to manage communication issues

Need help with anger?

What are anger management issues?

1. Understand your triggers.

2. Communicate assertively, not aggressively.

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3. Use “I” statements to help with anger management issues.