{"id":406,"date":"2020-05-03T17:44:28","date_gmt":"2020-05-03T16:44:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/?p=406"},"modified":"2020-05-03T17:44:31","modified_gmt":"2020-05-03T16:44:31","slug":"how-to-control-your-anger-and-not-lose-control","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/2020\/05\/03\/how-to-control-your-anger-and-not-lose-control\/","title":{"rendered":"How to control your anger (and not lose control)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2>Introduction<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I decided to write a blog post about how to control anger because &#8216;anger management&#8217; is one of the most common problems clients come to me wanting help with, in fact, it is probably the most common.  When I began researching the post I came across&nbsp;a<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mentalhealth.org.uk\/publications\/boiling-point-anger-and-what-we-can-do-about-it\" target=\"_blank\"> report on anger; &#8216;Boiling Point&#8217; produced by the Mental Health Foundation (MHF) back in 2008<\/a>, which found that (of the 2000 people surveyed):<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>32% of people say they have a close friend or family member who has trouble controlling their anger.<\/li><li>12% have trouble controlling their own anger.<\/li><li>28% worry about how angry they sometimes feel.<\/li><li>1 in 5 people have ended a relationship or a friendship because of how they behaved when they were angry.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"alignfull wp-block-ugb-blockquote ugb-blockquote ugb-4b9482a ugb-blockquote--v3 ugb-blockquote--design-plain ugb-main-block ugb-main-block--inner-center ugb--has-block-background ugb--has-top-separator ugb--has-bottom-separator\" id=\"\"><style>.ugb-4b9482a .ugb-blockquote__quote{fill:#555 !important;opacity:0.3;width:150px !important;height:150px !important;top:19px !important}.ugb-4b9482a .ugb-blockquote__item{text-align:left !important}.ugb-4b9482a.ugb-blockquote{margin-top:61px !important;margin-bottom:61px !important;padding-top:80px !important;padding-bottom:0px !important;background-color:#ffffff}.ugb-4b9482a.ugb-blockquote:before{background-color:#ffffff}.ugb-4b9482a .ugb-top-separator svg{fill:#000000}.ugb-4b9482a .ugb-top-separator .ugb-separator-wrapper{height:44px}.ugb-4b9482a .ugb-bottom-separator svg{fill:#000000}.ugb-4b9482a .ugb-bottom-separator .ugb-separator-wrapper{height:44px}@media screen and (max-width:1025px){.ugb-4b9482a.ugb-blockquote > .ugb-inner-block{width:80% !important}}<\/style><div class=\"ugb-top-separator\"><div class=\"ugb-separator-wrapper\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 1600 200\" filter=\"url(#straight-1-shadow_svg__a)\" enablebackground=\"new 0 0 1600 200\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"ugb-separator__shadow\" preserveaspectratio=\"none\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><filter id=\"straight-1-shadow_svg__a\"><feGaussianBlur in=\"SourceAlpha\" stddeviation=\"4\"><\/feGaussianBlur><feComponentTransfer><feFuncA type=\"linear\" slope=\"0.4\"><\/feFuncA><\/feComponentTransfer><feMerge><feMergeNode><\/feMergeNode><feMergeNode in=\"SourceGraphic\"><\/feMergeNode><\/feMerge><\/filter><path d=\"M-10 121.6h1620v-16.4H-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><svg viewbox=\"0 0 1600 200\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"ugb-separator__layer-1\" preserveaspectratio=\"none\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><path d=\"M-10 210h1620V105.2H-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ugb-bottom-separator\"><div class=\"ugb-separator-wrapper\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 1600 200\" filter=\"url(#straight-1-shadow_svg__a)\" enablebackground=\"new 0 0 1600 200\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"ugb-separator__shadow\" preserveaspectratio=\"none\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><filter id=\"straight-1-shadow_svg__a\"><feGaussianBlur in=\"SourceAlpha\" stddeviation=\"4\"><\/feGaussianBlur><feComponentTransfer><feFuncA type=\"linear\" slope=\"0.4\"><\/feFuncA><\/feComponentTransfer><feMerge><feMergeNode><\/feMergeNode><feMergeNode in=\"SourceGraphic\"><\/feMergeNode><\/feMerge><\/filter><path d=\"M-10 121.6h1620v-16.4H-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><svg viewbox=\"0 0 1600 200\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"ugb-separator__layer-1\" preserveaspectratio=\"none\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><path d=\"M-10 210h1620V105.2H-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ugb-inner-block\"><div class=\"ugb-block-content\"><div class=\"ugb-blockquote__item\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 50 50\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"ugb-blockquote__quote\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\"><path d=\"M9.4 14.6c-2.4 2.9-3.6 5.9-3.6 8.9 0 1.3.2 2.4.5 3.3 1.8-1.4 3.8-2.1 6-2.1 2.9 0 5.3.9 7.3 2.7 2 1.8 3 4.2 3 7.3 0 1.9-.5 3.6-1.4 5.1-.9 1.5-2.2 2.7-3.8 3.6s-3.3 1.3-5.1 1.3c-4.1 0-7.3-1.6-9.5-4.9C.9 36.9 0 33.5 0 29.4c0-5.2 1.4-9.9 4.1-14 2.8-4.1 6.9-7.5 12.5-10l1.5 2.8c-3.3 1.3-6.2 3.5-8.7 6.4zm27.5 0c-2.4 2.9-3.6 5.9-3.6 8.9 0 1.3.2 2.4.5 3.3 1.8-1.4 3.8-2.1 6-2.1 2.9 0 5.4.9 7.4 2.7 2 1.8 3 4.2 3 7.3 0 2.8-1 5.2-3 7.1-2 1.9-4.4 2.9-7.3 2.9-4.1 0-7.3-1.6-9.5-4.9-1.8-2.7-2.8-6.2-2.8-10.3 0-5.2 1.4-9.9 4.1-14 2.8-4.1 6.9-7.5 12.5-10l1.5 2.8c-3.5 1.2-6.4 3.4-8.8 6.3z\"><\/path><\/svg><div class=\"ugb-blockquote__content\"><p class=\"ugb-blockquote__text\">anger management&#8217; is one of the most common problems clients come to me wanting help with&#8230;<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>I was shocked to learn that the statistics were so high and there were so many people who&#8217;s lives were affected by their anger.  So, below is a guide explaining how to control your anger and I&#8217;ll be sharing some of the ways I have helped many clients handle their own anger problems.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2>In this post I will explain:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul><li><a href=\"#What-is-anger-and-why-does-it-matter?\">what anger is and why does it matter?<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#how-to-identify-what-makes-you-angry\">how to identify what makes you angry.<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#how-to-identify-why-those-things-make-you-angry\">how to identify why those things make <strong>you<\/strong> angry.<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#step-by-step-how-to-control-your-anger\">step by step, how to control your anger.<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#how-to-stay-on-top-of-your-anger\">how to stay on top of your anger.<\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-ugb-image-box ugb-image-box ugb-34a24af ugb-image-box--v4 ugb-image-box--columns-1 ugb-image-box--design-basic ugb-image-box--align-center ugb-main-block\" id=\"\"><style>.ugb-34a24af .ugb-image-box__item1 .ugb-image-box__image{background-image:url(https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/blueprint-964630_1280-1024x682.jpg)}.ugb-34a24af .ugb-image-box__overlay{background-color:#fff !important}.ugb-34a24af .ugb-image-box__item:not(:hover) .ugb-image-box__overlay{opacity:0 !important}.ugb-34a24af .ugb-image-box__item:hover .ugb-image-box__overlay-hover{opacity:0.7 !important}.ugb-34a24af .ugb-inner-block{text-align:center}.ugb-34a24af.ugb-image-box{opacity:1 !important}<\/style><div class=\"ugb-inner-block\"><div class=\"ugb-block-content\"><div class=\"ugb-image-box__item ugb-image-box__item1 ugb-image-box__box ugb--shadow-4\"><div class=\"ugb-image-box__box ugb-image-box__image-wrapper\"><div class=\"ugb-image-box__box ugb-image-box__image\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ugb-image-box__box ugb-image-box__overlay\"><\/div><div class=\"ugb-image-box__box ugb-image-box__overlay-hover\"><\/div><div class=\"ugb-image-box__content\"><p class=\"ugb-image-box__description\">\u201cHolding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.\u201d<br>\u2015&nbsp;<strong>Buddha<\/strong><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 id=\"What-is-anger-and-why-does-it-matter?\">What is anger and why does it matter?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Anger is a natural emotion, that is part of our survival instinct. When we feel threatened, a part of the brain called &#8216;the Amygdala&#8217;, prepares the body for action and we get ready to fight what is trying to harm us. Without this early warning system, we probably wouldn&#8217;t be here in the 21st century, with the human race being extinct as a result of being eaten by bigger, stronger, quicker predators, millions of years ago!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><p>\u201cThe best fighter is never angry.\u201d<\/p><cite>lAO tZU<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>While anger can keep us safe, it simply isn&#8217;t acceptable to treat everyone as though they are going to kill you!  Like all our emotions, we have to learn to control our anger.  The difference with anger, unlike our other emotions, is that anger makes other people around us feel threatened, frightened, resentful and indeed, angry themselves, so it important for us to control our anger if we are going to maintain the relationships in our lives.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 id=\"how-to-identify-what-makes-you-angry\">What makes you angry?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Whether someone has told you, &#8220;you need to control your anger more&#8221; or &#8220;you get wound up easily&#8221; or you&#8217;ve noticed that you feel angry or frustrated yourself, the first thing you need to do is to establish <strong>what makes you angry<\/strong>.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Everyone is different so write a list of things that make you angry.  This could include things people say to you like being told you&#8217;re wrong or maybe when people ignore you, you get angry.  You might find that the drive to work makes you angry, or perhaps its a person, your partner, or maybe your boss.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Getting it down on paper will help you focus on the things that make you angry and give you a place to start tackling the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"alignfull wp-block-ugb-cta ugb-cta ugb-f8fbd0a ugb-cta ugb-cta--v2 ugb-cta--design-plain ugb-main-block ugb-main-block--inner-full ugb--has-block-background\" id=\"\"><style>.ugb-f8fbd0a .ugb-cta__title,.ugb-f8fbd0a .ugb-cta__description,.ugb-f8fbd0a .ugb-button-container{text-align:left !important}.ugb-f8fbd0a .ugb-cta__title{color:#ffffff}.ugb-f8fbd0a .ugb-button-container{text-align:right !important}.ugb-f8fbd0a .ugb-button .ugb-button--inner{color:#ffffff !important}.ugb-f8fbd0a .ugb-button{border-color:#ffffff !important;border-radius:0px !important}.ugb-f8fbd0a .ugb-button:hover .ugb-button--inner{color:#ffffff !important}.ugb-f8fbd0a .ugb-button:before{border-radius:0px !important}.ugb-f8fbd0a .ugb-inner-block{text-align:left}.ugb-f8fbd0a.ugb-cta{padding-bottom:3% !important;background-color:#000000}.ugb-f8fbd0a.ugb-cta > .ugb-inner-block{width:80% !important}.ugb-f8fbd0a.ugb-cta:before{background-color:#000000}<\/style><div class=\"ugb-inner-block\"><div class=\"ugb-block-content\"><div class=\"ugb-cta__item\"><h3 class=\"ugb-cta__title\">Counselling for men<\/h3><div class=\"ugb-button-container\"><a class=\"ugb-button ugb-button--size-normal ugb--hover-effect-lift-scale ugb-button--design-ghost\" href=\"https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/contact.html\" rel=\"\"><span class=\"ugb-button--inner\">I can help<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 id=\"how-to-identify-why-those-things-make-you-angry\">Why does it make you angry?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Now you have an idea of some of the things that make you angry, you need to spend some time on <strong>why they make you angry<\/strong>.  The reasons you feel angry are going to be personal to you and it might be difficult to admit to yourself why they make you angry, so take your time.  Here are some steps to follow to help you work out why things make you angry:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 id=\"step-by-step-how-to-control-your-anger\">Step 1<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Find a time and place you won&#8217;t be disturbed. No mobile phones, no televisions, and nothing that is going to distract you, including other people in the house and noises outside. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You might have to wait until the kids are at school and the other half is at work but it&#8217;s important that there are as few distractions as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Clearly, during the Coronavirus outbreak, getting some quiet is much harder than usual and indeed, this might  be something that is making you angry in itself so what&#8217;s important here is that you find somewhere where you can think clearly.  If needs must, you could do this sat on the loo, perhaps with some peaceful music playing through some earphones to block out noisy distractions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"alignfull wp-block-ugb-feature ugb-feature ugb-c52fd19 ugb-feature--v2 ugb-feature--design-plain ugb-main-block ugb-main-block--inner-wide ugb--has-block-background\" id=\"\"><style>.ugb-c52fd19 .ugb-img{width:1024px;height:auto !important;-webkit-mask-image:url('data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgMjAwIDIwMCIgeG1sbnM9Imh0dHA6Ly93d3cudzMub3JnLzIwMDAvc3ZnIj48cGF0aCBjbGFzcz0ic3F1YXJlX3N2Z19fc3QwIiBkPSJNMCAwaDIwMHYyMDBIMHoiPjwvcGF0aD48L3N2Zz4=');mask-image:url('data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgMjAwIDIwMCIgeG1sbnM9Imh0dHA6Ly93d3cudzMub3JnLzIwMDAvc3ZnIj48cGF0aCBjbGFzcz0ic3F1YXJlX3N2Z19fc3QwIiBkPSJNMCAwaDIwMHYyMDBIMHoiPjwvcGF0aD48L3N2Zz4=')}.ugb-c52fd19 .ugb-feature__description{color:#ffffff}.ugb-c52fd19 .ugb-inner-block{text-align:center}.ugb-c52fd19.ugb-feature{background-color:#111111;background-attachment:fixed}.ugb-c52fd19.ugb-feature:before{background-color:#111111}@media screen and (min-width:768px){.ugb-c52fd19 .ugb-feature__item{grid-template-columns:0.80fr 1.20fr !important}}<\/style><div class=\"ugb-inner-block\"><div class=\"ugb-block-content\"><div class=\"ugb-feature__item\"><div class=\"ugb-feature__content\"><p class=\"ugb-feature__description\">Clearly, during the Coronavirus outbreak, getting some quiet is much harder than usual and indeed, this might be something that is making you angry in itself so what&#8217;s important here is that you find somewhere where you can think clearly. <br><br>If needs must, you could do this sat on the loo, perhaps with some peaceful music playing through some earphones to block out noisy distractions. <\/p><\/div><div class=\"ugb-feature__image-side\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"ugb-feature__image ugb-feature__image-has-shape ugb-img wp-image-502 ugb-img--shape\" src=\"https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/mobile-phone-1024x680.jpg\" alt=\"mobile-and-earphones-for-helping-to-reduce-anger\" width=\"1024\" height=\"680\" srcset=\"https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/mobile-phone-1024x680.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/mobile-phone-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/mobile-phone-768x510.jpg 768w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/mobile-phone-1536x1020.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/mobile-phone-900x598.jpg 900w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/mobile-phone-1280x850.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/mobile-phone.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3>Step 2<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Sit comfortably, close your eyes and focus on your breathing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"alignfull wp-block-ugb-card ugb-card ugb-b97422a ugb-card--v2 ugb-card--design-basic ugb-card--columns-1 ugb-main-block ugb-main-block--inner-center ugb--has-block-background ugb--has-top-separator ugb--has-bottom-separator\" id=\"\"><style>.ugb-b97422a .ugb-card__item{border-radius:0px !important;background-color:#313131 !important}.ugb-b97422a .ugb-card__item:before{background-color:#313131 !important}.ugb-b97422a .ugb-card__item1 .ugb-card__image{background-image:url(https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/coffee-1024x683.jpg)}.ugb-b97422a .ugb-card__title{font-weight:300;color:#ffffff !important;text-align:center !important}.ugb-b97422a .ugb-card__description{color:#ffffff !important;text-align:center !important}.ugb-b97422a.ugb-card{padding-top:130px !important;padding-bottom:130px !important;background-color:#111111;background-attachment:fixed}.ugb-b97422a.ugb-card > .ugb-inner-block{width:700px !important}.ugb-b97422a.ugb-card:before{background-color:#111111}.ugb-b97422a .ugb-top-separator svg{fill:#000000}.ugb-b97422a .ugb-top-separator .ugb-separator-wrapper{height:50px}.ugb-b97422a .ugb-bottom-separator svg{fill:#000000}.ugb-b97422a .ugb-bottom-separator .ugb-separator-wrapper{height:50px}<\/style><div class=\"ugb-top-separator\"><div class=\"ugb-separator-wrapper\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 1600 200\" filter=\"url(#straight-1-shadow_svg__a)\" enablebackground=\"new 0 0 1600 200\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"ugb-separator__shadow\" preserveaspectratio=\"none\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><filter id=\"straight-1-shadow_svg__a\"><feGaussianBlur in=\"SourceAlpha\" stddeviation=\"4\"><\/feGaussianBlur><feComponentTransfer><feFuncA type=\"linear\" slope=\"0.4\"><\/feFuncA><\/feComponentTransfer><feMerge><feMergeNode><\/feMergeNode><feMergeNode in=\"SourceGraphic\"><\/feMergeNode><\/feMerge><\/filter><path d=\"M-10 121.6h1620v-16.4H-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><svg viewbox=\"0 0 1600 200\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"ugb-separator__layer-1\" preserveaspectratio=\"none\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><path d=\"M-10 210h1620V105.2H-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ugb-bottom-separator\"><div class=\"ugb-separator-wrapper\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 1600 200\" filter=\"url(#straight-1-shadow_svg__a)\" enablebackground=\"new 0 0 1600 200\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"ugb-separator__shadow\" preserveaspectratio=\"none\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><filter id=\"straight-1-shadow_svg__a\"><feGaussianBlur in=\"SourceAlpha\" stddeviation=\"4\"><\/feGaussianBlur><feComponentTransfer><feFuncA type=\"linear\" slope=\"0.4\"><\/feFuncA><\/feComponentTransfer><feMerge><feMergeNode><\/feMergeNode><feMergeNode in=\"SourceGraphic\"><\/feMergeNode><\/feMerge><\/filter><path d=\"M-10 121.6h1620v-16.4H-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><svg viewbox=\"0 0 1600 200\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"ugb-separator__layer-1\" preserveaspectratio=\"none\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><path d=\"M-10 210h1620V105.2H-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ugb-inner-block\"><div class=\"ugb-block-content\"><div class=\"ugb-card__item ugb-card__item1\"><div class=\"ugb-card__image\"><\/div><div class=\"ugb-card__content\"><h4 class=\"ugb-card__title\">Helpful tip:<\/h4><p class=\"ugb-card__description\">Breathing in the smell of a cup of coffee can help.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3>Step 3<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Relax your body and let go of any tension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>Step 4<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>As you begin to relax, you&#8217;ll be giving your mind the chance to present what&#8217;s troubling you.  It might be something on your list or it could be something else.  Let the thought&#8217;s enter and try to spend 5 to 10 minutes on what come&#8217;s to mind.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"alignfull wp-block-ugb-feature ugb-feature ugb-1aaab08 ugb-feature--v2 ugb-feature--design-plain ugb-main-block ugb-main-block--inner-wide ugb--has-block-background\" id=\"\"><style>.ugb-1aaab08 .ugb-img{width:629px;height:auto !important;-webkit-mask-image:url('data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgMjAwIDIwMCIgeG1sbnM9Imh0dHA6Ly93d3cudzMub3JnLzIwMDAvc3ZnIj48cGF0aCBjbGFzcz0ic3F1YXJlX3N2Z19fc3QwIiBkPSJNMCAwaDIwMHYyMDBIMHoiPjwvcGF0aD48L3N2Zz4=');mask-image:url('data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgMjAwIDIwMCIgeG1sbnM9Imh0dHA6Ly93d3cudzMub3JnLzIwMDAvc3ZnIj48cGF0aCBjbGFzcz0ic3F1YXJlX3N2Z19fc3QwIiBkPSJNMCAwaDIwMHYyMDBIMHoiPjwvcGF0aD48L3N2Zz4=')}.ugb-1aaab08 .ugb-feature__description{color:#ffffff}.ugb-1aaab08 .ugb-inner-block{text-align:center}.ugb-1aaab08.ugb-feature{background-color:#111111;background-attachment:fixed}.ugb-1aaab08.ugb-feature:before{background-color:#111111}<\/style><div class=\"ugb-inner-block\"><div class=\"ugb-block-content\"><div class=\"ugb-feature__item\"><div class=\"ugb-feature__content\"><p class=\"ugb-feature__description\">It&#8217;ll take practice to stay with your thoughts so don&#8217;t worry if you have trouble focusing, it will come. <br><br>Don&#8217;t try to force the thoughts to come back if you lose track, this will only frustrate you even further. If you want to carry on, come back to focusing on your breathing and give the thoughts the chance to come again.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"ugb-feature__image-side\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"ugb-feature__image ugb-feature__image-has-shape ugb-img wp-image-507 ugb-img--shape\" src=\"https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Work-harder-858x1024.jpg\" alt=\"work-harder-to-control-your-anger\" width=\"629\" height=\"751\" srcset=\"https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Work-harder-858x1024.jpg 858w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Work-harder-251x300.jpg 251w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Work-harder-768x917.jpg 768w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Work-harder-1286x1536.jpg 1286w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Work-harder-900x1075.jpg 900w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Work-harder-1280x1528.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Work-harder.jpg 1608w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 629px) 100vw, 629px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;ll take practice to stay with your thoughts so don&#8217;t worry if you have trouble focusing, it will come.  Don&#8217;t try to force the thoughts to come back if you lose track, this will only frustrate you even further.  If you want to carry on, come back to focusing on your breathing and give the thoughts the chance to come again.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><p>\u201cTomorrow\u2019s victory is today\u2019s practice.\u201d<\/p><cite><strong>Chris Bradford,&nbsp;<\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/work\/quotes\/6221747\">The Way of the Warrior<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s important to point out you might not like what comes to mind and you may not agree with them but try to <strong>accept<\/strong> them and be open to exploring what comes to mind.  For example, you might have a thought that say&#8217;s something like &#8220;you&#8217;re angry because you&#8217;re jealous&#8221;.  Rather than pushing the thought away and dismiss it, try to accept it for what it is, a thought and try to explore it.  &#8220;Am I jealous&#8221;? &#8220;What exactly am I jealous of&#8221;? Etc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>Step 5<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Write down anything that <strong>feels<\/strong> relevant.  You will hopefully have gained some insight into what it is that is making you angry and it&#8217;s useful to record it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 id=\"how-to-stay-on-top-of-your-anger\">Staying on top of your anger<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>One you&#8217;ve begun to work out what makes you angry and how it makes you angry, it&#8217;s important that you stay on top of your anger.  Practice steps 1 to 5 as often as you can, everyday if it is possible.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can use this technique to work on something making you angry in the present such as an argument with your partner.  You can also use this technique to work on something that&#8217;s been troubling you longer term such as anger towards a relative who has passed away, for example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What&#8217;s important is that you learn to listen to your mind and trust your feelings.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2>Conclusion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Today we&#8217;ve learnt how to recognise the things that make us angry, why they make us angry and how we can control our anger and stay on top of it.  I hope this helps you and please feel free to look at some of my other <a href=\"https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/\">blog posts<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"alignfull wp-block-ugb-cta ugb-cta ugb-c719391 ugb-cta ugb-cta--v2 ugb-cta--design-plain ugb-main-block ugb-main-block--inner-wide ugb--has-block-background ugb--has-background-overlay\" id=\"\"><style>.ugb-c719391 .ugb-cta__title,.ugb-c719391 .ugb-cta__description,.ugb-c719391 .ugb-button-container{text-align:left !important}.ugb-c719391 .ugb-cta__title{font-family:\"Poppins\",Sans-serif !important;font-size:35px !important;font-weight:400}.ugb-c719391 .ugb-cta__description{font-size:28px;color:#fff}.ugb-c719391 .ugb-button{background-color:#313131;border-radius:100px !important}.ugb-c719391 .ugb-button .ugb-button--inner,.ugb-c719391 .ugb-button svg{color:#ffffff !important}.ugb-c719391 .ugb-button:before{border-radius:100px !important}.ugb-c719391 .ugb-inner-block{text-align:left}.ugb-c719391.ugb-cta{min-height:400px;background-color:#ffffff;background-image:url(https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/relaxed-man.jpg)}.ugb-c719391.ugb-cta:before{background-image:linear-gradient(40deg,#ffffff 0%,rgba(255,255,255,0) 100%);opacity:0.7}@media screen and (-ms-high-contrast:active),screen and (-ms-high-contrast:none){.ugb-c719391.ugb-cta{height:400px}}<\/style><div class=\"ugb-inner-block\"><div class=\"ugb-block-content\"><div class=\"ugb-cta__item\"><h3 class=\"ugb-cta__title\">Need help with anger?<\/h3><p class=\"ugb-cta__description\">If you would like to talk to some, confidentially about anger management, then I can help.<\/p><div class=\"ugb-button-container\"><a class=\"ugb-button ugb-button--size-medium ugb--hover-effect-lift\" href=\"https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/contact.html\" rel=\"\"><span class=\"ugb-button--inner\">Help is here<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Introduction I decided to write a blog post about how to control anger because &#8216;anger management&#8217; is one of the most common problems clients come to me wanting help with, in fact, it is probably the most common. When I began researching the post I came across&nbsp;a report on anger; &#8216;Boiling Point&#8217; produced by the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":448,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[6],"featured_image_urls":{"full":["https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/hulk-667988_1920.jpg",1920,1276,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/hulk-667988_1920-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/hulk-667988_1920-300x199.jpg",300,199,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/hulk-667988_1920-768x510.jpg",629,418,true],"large":["https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/hulk-667988_1920-1024x681.jpg",629,418,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/hulk-667988_1920-1536x1021.jpg",1536,1021,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/hulk-667988_1920.jpg",1920,1276,false],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/hulk-667988_1920-88x88.jpg",88,88,true],"post-image":["https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/hulk-667988_1920-900x598.jpg",900,598,true],"post-image-cover":["https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/hulk-667988_1920-1280x851.jpg",1280,851,true]},"post_excerpt_stackable":"<p>Introduction I decided to write a blog post about how to control anger because &#8216;anger management&#8217; is one of the most common problems clients come to me wanting help with, in fact, it is probably the most common. When I began researching the post I came across&nbsp;a report on anger; &#8216;Boiling Point&#8217; produced by the Mental Health Foundation (MHF) back in 2008, which found that (of the 2000 people surveyed): 32% of people say they have a close friend or family member who has trouble controlling their anger.12% have trouble controlling their own anger.28% worry about how angry they sometimes&hellip;<\/p>\n","category_list":"<a href=\"https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/category\/anger-management\/\" rel=\"category tag\">Anger management<\/a>","author_info":{"name":"Kieran","url":"https:\/\/hisownmancounselling.co.uk\/blog\/author\/dbs393045\/"},"comments_num":"14 comments","yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v14.0.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to control your anger (and not lose control) - His Own Man&#039;s Counselling Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you lose control when you become angry? 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